Page 32 of Chase Our Forever

I nod as I plaster a smile on my face. “Totally fine. Want any pancakes before you go?”

I make sure to keep eye contact. All I want to do is take a moment to really appreciate the suit he’s wearing this morning, but I know better. I don’t want to make this weird, and I’m really only even giving him a second glance because I’m tired and he smells good.

That’s got to be the reason.

Dean stares at me for a few moments with narrowed lids. Slowly, he shakes his head. “No, I’m okay.” He leaves it at that as a blush creeps onto my cheeks.

I’ve weirded him out.

Or maybe he’s just in a rush. I try to comfort myself into thinking I’m not being creepy as he walks over to the breakfast nook. Clara barely looks up from her coloring sheet as he presses his lips to her hairline.

“You have a good day today. I’ll miss you.” He strokes the hair from her face as he looks down at her lovingly. I can tell he’s nervous about leaving her today, and I’m sure me acting weird this morning isn’t helping at all.

“You don’t have to miss me, Daddy. Livvy and I have fun.”

Her comment makes me smile as I finish cutting some strawberries to go with her pancakes. Hopefully, her excitement about our day together will help ease some of Dean’s nerves.

“You’re right. You’ll have the best day. Just don’t have too much fun without me.” He presses one more kiss to her forehead before backing up.

When his eyes meet mine, I can see the hesitation in his face. He doesn’t want to leave, and I get it. I clearly have no idea what it feels like to be a parent, but I can imagine it’s hard to trust them with someone else.

“I’ll call you if anything happens. We’ll have a great day, and she’ll be so excited to tell you all about it later.” I know it probably won’t help, but I try to ease his mind anyway.

He gives one curt nod of his head. He walked into the kitchen this morning seemingly in a good mood, but things have shifted a little. Maybe this is normal for him. His family seemed to think so yesterday when they kept warning me of his shifting moods. Or maybe he’s creeped out by the fact I couldn’t stop staring at him after he strolled in freshly showered and ready for work in a nice suit, smelling woodsy and rich all at once.

“Goodbye,” he calls while screwing on the lid of the coffee thermos. “Have a good day.”

“You too,” I respond, walking Clara’s breakfast over to her. The pancakes get her attention. She pushes the paper she was coloring to the side and gets right to shoveling almost an entire pancake into her mouth.

I thought Dean would be gone, but when I turn around to make myself a plate, I find him watching us from the entry to the kitchen. His lips turn down in a frown as he anxiously taps his fingers on the thermos he holds.

“I’ll take good care of her,” I promise, hating how uneasy he looks. I understand and don’t take it personally. I just wish there was a way for me to calm his nerves. “Clara and I are going to have a great day, and I’m going to make sure she stays safe.”

He sighs, his broad shoulders sagging slightly with the rush of air. “Are my nerves that obvious?”

I shrug, giving him what I hope is a comforting smile. “They’re a little obvious, but I understand.”

His cheeks puff out. “Okay. I’m leaving now. It’ll be fine.” I think the last part is said more to reassure himself more than to reassure me.

Clara is completely unaware of the stress her dad is going through at leaving her with me. She continues to shove pancakes into her mouth like she’s never eaten.

“Goodbye, Dean,” I say, looking back to find him still frozen in place.

He doesn’t respond. We just stare at each other for a few moments before his eyes flick to Clara. He watches her for a moment, and then he turns around and disappears.

I stare at the space he just left for a few moments before Clara’s dramatic sigh behind me catches my attention.

“Livvy, I thought Daddy never leave.”

I laugh, completely agreeing with her.

20

DEAN

My heart racesas I pull into the driveway of the house. I come down the driveway a little faster than I normally do, but it’s only because it’s been a few hours since Liv sent an update, and I’m a little worried about not hearing from her since.

She’d sent me photos of their day together, which I appreciated. They’d gotten out of the house and went to Wake and Bake, hanging out with Pippa and Lexi. Liv had fought me when I told her to drive the second car I own around town for their activities, but she finally relented when I insisted that every nanny drove it. It was kind of true; some of the nannies did, but I really only said that because Liv’s old car was not something I’d wanted my daughter to be in. If I thought about it too long, I didn’t like the idea of Liv in it either.

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