Page 67 of Chase Our Forever

“You’re here,” he repeats. He says it over and over again, as if he’s trying to convince himself of the statement. “You’re okay,” he adds, his voice breaking.

My heart breaks at the sound. I don’t know what was happening in his dream, but whatever it was still infiltrates his mind as he tries to regain his bearings.

I nod my head, placing my other hand on his cheek until we’re both holding each other’s heads.

He closes his eyes for a moment as he takes a few deep breaths. I feel every long exhale against my cheek. “You and Clara were in the car, and I couldn’t stop it,” he gets out, his words strangled with emotion. “I couldn’t stop it. You were?—”

I slip my fingers underneath his chin and force him to look at me. “I’m right here. I’m okay. Clara’s okay. It was just a dream.”

He lets out a shaky breath before nodding. A tremor runs through his entire body, and it kills me. I sit back and pull his head into my chest. My arms wrap around him tightly as I hold him right against my racing heart to prove to him I’m okay and that I’m right here with him.

I don’t know how long we sit with his head cradled to my chest and his arms wrapped around my middle. I know it’s long enough for his breaths to slow and even out. When he speaks, I can feel the vibrations against my body.

“Fuck, Liv, did I wake you up?”

I shake my head. I run my fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him. “No. I was coming upstairs from the basementwhen I heard you. I didn’t know if you’d be okay with me waking you up or not, but your cries got worse, and I?—”

“I’m happy you came,” he interrupts. He presses his large hand into the mattress to prop himself up and line his eyes up with mine. “Thank you.”

My body relaxes with a sigh of relief. He isn’t mad that I barged in and woke him up.

He lifts his free hand and moves the long braid I’d put my hair in from my shoulder to behind my back. A small shiver runs down my spine when he traces a callused finger along my collarbone. “I was so fucking scared. You were just…gone in my dream.” He looks from where he touches my skin and brings his whiskey-colored eyes to meet my gaze. “I thought I’d lost you.” His voice is barely above a whisper, but it feels like he yelled it with the way I feel it throughout my entire body.

“Never,” I respond, my voice thick with emotion.

His eyes trace over my face for a moment. “Stay with me tonight?” he asks, the vulnerability obvious in his tone.

My breaths still with his request. I’ve never slept in the same bed as a man, but I can’t imagine leaving him alone in here after the fear in his eyes and voice.

I nod, even though I know lying next to him will just fuel the desire I have for him. It doesn’t matter. I can’t say no to him. I’d do anything he asked me to.

His entire body relaxes with a small nod of my head. Slowly, he lets his hand drop to the mattress. I watch him closely as he grabs the blankets from the end of his bed and pulls them up. He lies down facing me, sliding one hand underneath his pillow and lifting the other one to let me in.

“Can I just hold you tonight?” he asks quietly.

Without a second thought, I lay down next to him. He wraps his arm around me and, with one simple movement, pulls my body flush to his. He tucks his chin over my head and places hisfingers to my neck as if he needs to feel my pulse against his fingertips to assure himself I’m here.

I don’t know how long I lie awake, but I know it’s long enough for his breaths to slow enough that I know he’s asleep. Eventually, sleep pulls me under right with him.

40

DEAN

I wakeup to a warm body pressed to mine. My hand splays across Liv’s stomach, keeping her pinned against me. I don’t think we moved our position all night. The night may have started with me having a nightmare, but after she agreed to stay in here with me, I slept better than I had in years.

No woman has ever slept in this bed next to me. After Selena passed, I couldn’t keep the bedroom furniture she’d picked out. I donated all of it, unable to keep the same bed she’d slept in after her scent disappeared from the sheets. After that, I thought I’d never sleep next to another woman again, but that all changed with Liv.

I should be scared at the knowledge things are so different with her, but I’m not. I haven’t been at peace in the morning in a very long time, yet this morning, that’s exactly how I feel.

She still sleeps soundly, allowing me the freedom to just stare at her without being caught. Slowly, I prop myself up on my elbow so I can get a better look at her. I gently push pieces of hair from her face. She had it neatly braided back last night, but now, pieces around her face have fallen out and splay out in different directions on her pillow.

Her long, blonde eyelashes kiss her high cheekbones. Even in her sleep, she has the softest of smiles gracing her lips.

I want to lean in and kiss it, to feel her lips turn up into that stunning smile of hers. I want to pepper kisses all along her body until her eyes pop open. And then I want to feel her tongue against mine before thanking her for saving me from my own mind last night.

My heartbeat accelerates at all the things I want to do. I’ve tried to keep my distance from her, to look at her as just a friend and as Clara’s nanny. It isn’t working. We’re like two magnets, being drawn together despite our best efforts.

What happens when you try to do the right thing and it doesn’t work? Can I kiss her like I’ve been dreaming about ever since the moment I tasted her? Can I tell her that I’m terrified of the feelings I’ve developed for her? Can I tell her that I thought my heart would never want anyone else, yet here it is, desperately needing her?

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