Page 56 of The Road to Finding Us

Well—maybe one person here, but I’m trying to ignore that.

Especially with her brother sitting in the circle, having his own epiphany when it comes to the girl he wants to kiss.

I’m busy reading the body language between Maverick and Veronica when Anthony elbows me. I glare at him, but he’s busy nodding his head toward the circle.

It’s at this moment I realize Lily’s hand is splayed out over the bottle. She’s about to flick her wrist to spin it—and I can’t take it. The thought of her kissing any other tool here makes me sick to my stomach.

I spring up to my feet before I can process my actions. “Hey, Lily, can I talk to you for a second?”

The rest of the circle blurs, my attention solely focused on Lily. My heart pounds in my chest, and I don’t even begin to humor the idea that she could turn me down in front of all our friends. She should turn me down—because I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing—but I hope she doesn’t. I wouldn’t say I’m one with a fragile ego, but if she just brushes me off with an insult right now, I might actually crawl into a hole and die.

Time slowly ticks by as she looks down at the bottle, up at me, and repeat. I’m just about to give up all hope, bracing for whatever joke she’s preparing to aim at me, when she nods her head. Her hand leaves the bottle before she gets up.

She gives me a curious gaze—probably the same one I’m currently wearing—as we make our way to the bottom of the stairs after I point to it.

Once we’re there, I give my back to the group, caging us away from meddling eyes.

Lily looks up at me with fire in her eyes, clearly gearing up for a fight.

I don’t want to give her a fight right now.

I want to give her the truth.

“I don’t want you kissing another guy.” I throw the words out between us quickly, terrified if I don’t get them out fast enough, I’ll chicken out from saying them.

Lily cocks an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, I missed the memo that you’re the boss of me.”

My jaw clenches. Clearly, I’m already fucking this up.

Why can I smooth talk every other woman but her?

“I don’t want you kissing another guy because I want to be the only guy who gets to kiss you.”

Since I’m already staring at her lips, I don’t miss the way they part slowly at my words.

I stop staring at her mouth, trying to read the look in her eyes instead. Those blue eyes are stormy with emotion. I’m desperate to fill the silence, desperate to convince her not to go sit back in that circle and rest those lips against somebody else’s. I’m desperate for her to be mine.

“I want you, Lil. I want you so fucking bad I can’t think straight. I want to throttle any guy who even looks at you. This isn’t me. I’ve never felt this before. But I swear to fuck, if I have to watch you kiss another guy tonight, I’ll lose my shit.” My hand reaches out on its own accord and rests on her hip. Right then, I remember there’s a whole group of people behind us, but I don’t even care at this point.

They can all go to hell. I need to get my girl.

“You know how many girls I’ve watched you kiss?” She lifts her chin in defiance, accusing me with her eyes.

I sigh, fully aware of the girls I’ve thrown in her face over the years, not realizing how much they’d bite me in the ass later. “I can’t change that.” My fingers tighten on her hip, bringing her closer to me. I pray my body is enough to shield us from the people behind us.

“If you tell me not to kiss anyone else and you end up kissing a girl here, I’ll cut your dick off, Aspen.” Her eyes flick down to where our bodies touch. If I’m not mistaken, she slightly leans into my touch.

Somebody cheers behind us, but neither of us give it any attention.

My dick is suddenly hard. I must be a special kind of fucked up to get excited at the prospect of her removing it, but I think it’s more the jealous tone to her voice. The angry lash to her words, as if the thought of me kissing another girl makes her as crazy as her kissing another guy makes me.

“Deal,” I rush out, making sure to look her in the eye to let her know I mean it.

“I’m fucking serious, Aspen.”

“So am I. I’m going crazy for you. No other girl here comes close to how I feel about you. I don’t want any of them. I want you.” I quickly place a kiss to her upturned nose before I back away, heading back to join the circle.

I’m wound so freaking tight when I sit back down, pretending to give a flying fuck about the game when all I’m interested in is it ending.

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