Page 40 of The Road to Finding Us

I grab both sides of his face, forcing him to look at me. “Kiss me,” I plead, feathering my lips against his jaw. My hand dips down the slope of his neck before I dig my nails into his muscular back, trying to pull him to me in more ways than one. I’m desperate to keep him in this moment with me.

There’s not a single part of me that wants this to stop with him. I want it to start and never freaking end. I want him, him, him.

When my lips find his, I’m terrified to find them wavering against mine. He’s already regretting this, and I’ll be damned if I let that happen. We’ve come so far, I need to finish what we’ve started.

“Don’t push me away right now. I know you want this, that part is obvious.” I reach to grab the erect part of him.

I rub my hand up and down it, watching in fascination at the way his eyes close as I do it. His eyes snap open a few seconds later, and at the same time, he pulls his hips away from my hand.

“I told you this was a bad idea.”

“And I told you I didn’t give a damn. We both want each other. We have for a while. I’m done trying to hide it.”

He looks at me dejectedly. “But Maverick.”

“Maverick doesn’t care.”

“Well, I care, Lily. I’m stopping this, and I’m stopping it now.” Aspen takes a few steps away from me, going deeper into the lake.

I laugh in disbelief, bracing myself with one hand to stand up. As soon as I reach our clothes, I quickly pull them over my wet underwear. Just as I’m putting my head through the hole in my T-shirt, I find Aspen pulling himself out of the water and onto the dock.

We get dressed silently. Goosebumps cover my skin from the sudden loss of his heat.

Typical Aspen, going hot and cold so quick it gives me whiplash.

Once we’re both fully dressed, I walk up to Aspen, square against him. I make sure he’s looking me in the eye before I say my next words.

“I’m giving you this one chance, Aspen. It isn’t too late. Stop hiding behind other girls and admit that you have a thing for me, even if I am your best friend’s sister. Give this a chance. And if you’re too scared, then that’s on you. But know, when the sun rises tomorrow, I want nothing to do with you. Both of us will know how much of a coward you are. And just know that it was your choice—and you chose wrong.”

“Lily,” he begins, his shoulders falling in defeat.

I can tell by the look in his eyes that whatever is about to come out of his mouth, I won’t like. I put my hand against his chest in defeat, stopping him. “You don’t have to say another word. I’d rather your silence than your lies.”

I throw the alcohol into my backpack before pulling it on, despite my still-wet body, and then head in the direction of the fence.

The whole way back to their house, I feel his gaze on me, but I don’t look back at him once.

I’m not playing his games.

When we wake up tomorrow, things will go back to the way they’ve always been between us.

Aspen and Lily: enemies.

Except this time, I’ll actually mean it.

21

Lily

Present

I wake up the next morning to the smell of bacon and the sound of laughter coming from downstairs.

After carefully stepping down the ladder, I find Aspen’s bed empty. He must already be up and down there. My bag is still sitting where I left it last night, so I rifle through it until I find an outfit suitable for the car ride today.

I’m quick in the bathroom as I get through my morning routine. I fell asleep with soaking wet hair last night, leaving it one big, giant knot this morning. Instead of lingering on whether or not to attempt to style it, I throw it up in a messy bun and call it a day.

When I finally make it downstairs, I smile at the scene before me. Ed is setting the table, Helen is frying some bacon, but what I’m most surprised to see is Aspen mixing a big bowl of—what I assume is—pancake batter.

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