Page 22 of The Road to Finding Us

“Do what?” He pretends to look confused, as if I didn’t clearly see him pay Judas.

“Pay Judas for the food.”

“Oh, that. I figured it was for the best. He needs to be compensated for his great pancake making skills. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone eat anything as fast as you ate that pancake. So, am I missing something? Your birthday is today?” He gives me a teasing grin.

I feel the redness seeping into my cheeks. Here I was, thinking I got away with scarfing down that pancake in ten seconds flat, but apparently I wasn’t as convincing as I believed. “Just you wait. They really are delicious! And no, he just wants to make me feel awkward. I hate when people sing to me.” I attempt to change the conversation to something else. “So, how about this weather, eh? Feels great outside.”

He shakes his head. “Did you really just use ‘eh’ in a sentence?”

I scrunch my face together as I say, “Maybe.”

“That’s absolutely adorable,” he says. He cocks his head toward an empty table a few yards away from us, silently asking me if that spot will work.

I give him a firm nod of my head, letting him lead the way there.

12

Aspen

Present

“Abso-fucking-loutely not,” Lily declares from the passenger seat next to me, her eyes staying focused on the sign directly in front of my windshield.

“Oh, don’t be that way,” I throw back, sliding my phone into my pocket. I reach to open my door, but Lily’s hand shoots out in front of my chest, blocking me in.

“No, no, noooo way, Aspen. You don’t get to escape this argument.” I let go of the door handle and turn my body toward her, raising my eyebrows when I realize her hand is still splayed across my chest. “Ew,” she sputters when she realizes it’s still there as well. As fast as it had shot out, she pulls it back and sets it in her lap, anxiously tapping her fingers on her thigh. She swings her sights from the sign we’re parked in front of over to me. Finally, she stops ping-ponging back and forth and focuses on me. “I’m not staying here.” There’s conviction in her voice, her gaze not wavering from mine.

I don’t respond to her, taking the moment to look at her. Her hair falls over her shoulders in waves. During the brief time we dated—if you could even call it that— I used to love running my hands through those thick strands, my fingers tangling in the dark locks. Now the cascade of nearly black is just another reminder of something I had but couldn’t keep.

I’m all too aware that if I were to push the blanket of hair back, I’d be met with one bare, tan shoulder. She had fussed with the T-shirt the whole car ride here before she finally just let it fall as it wanted. I follow the curves her shirt hugs until I’m met with the denim of her shorts. I’m observing the way her tan legs bounce up and down with nerves when I feel a sudden pain on my forehead.

“Ow!” I howl, rubbing the center of my face. “Did you just flick me?”

Lily gives me a sly smile. “I sure did. Stop staring at me. It’s weird, and it creeps me out.” Her one eyebrow raises.

“It creeps you out, huh?” Somehow, I’m very certain that my gaze doesn’t creep her out. I don’t voice my viewpoint, though—well aware she’d only deny it if I did.

“One hundred percent. Now, back to the matter at hand. We aren’t staying here for the night. We still have plenty of daylight left to continue our trip.” She points to the road as if the action alone will magically have us traveling back down it.

The trip here took about five hours and we could’ve stayed on the road for a few more, but I have other plans. When I found out I was traveling to South Carolina with Lily, I decided to implement a few detours along the way.

The first being Hot Springs, Arizona where we’re currently parked in front of a small Airbnb I rented last minute. After talking with Veronica and coming up with a plan, this was the only thing I could find on such short notice. Even if it is smaller than Lily’s Dallas studio, it will have to do.

When I told Veronica all about my plan to take a few extra days to explore, she was all for it. She claimed Lily and I needed to figure our shit out—her words, not mine. I told her I didn’t think Lily and I would ever have anything figured out. But once Veronica has her mind set on something, there’s no turning back.

So now I’m left with a very unwilling travel partner.

“You’ve really only got two options here, Lily Bear,” I drag out the nickname I know she absolutely despises.

“Stop calling me that,” she snaps.

“Don’t interrupt me.” I narrow my eyes at her for a few seconds before she makes an angry face at me. “Anyway,” I continue, “you’ve got two options. You can stay the night in Gladys, which really doesn’t have a lot of space in the back. Or, you can join me in the house for the night. We even have the luxury of having access to the hot springs. The place has two sleeping spaces. You can pretend I’m not even there.”

She purses her lips, like she’s deep in thought. “You talk entirely too much for me to be able to pretend you’re not there.”

I smile. “Don’t act like you don’t like it.”

Lily guffaws. “Keep dreaming, Aspen.”

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