Page 78 of The Consequence of Loving Me

I take a breath and add, “I saw something once that said you can’t be loved by someone until you love yourself and I still think it’s bullshit. I get that you don’t like yourself. You’ve made some mistakes in your life and now you have to live with them. I still don’t think Connor’s death was your fault, and I hope you realized that while home. But I am telling you right now that you don’t have to love yourself. You don’t even have to like yourself, because I love you enough for the both of us. I didn’t expect it to happen, I don’t even know how it happened, but it did.

“And now I will show you just how worthy of love you are despite every shitty thing that has happened to you and especially after every shitty thing you have done. I love you despite all of it. One of these days, my love will show you that it’s okay to love yourself, too—despite your flaws, because of your flaws. Because I am in love with every single thing that makes you you. The good, the bad, the ugly. All of it. So, once you’ve picked up your pieces, once you can love again, even if it isn’t by loving yourself, I want you to choose me.” I cup both of her cheeks in my hand, pulling her face to look up at me.

I want her to see the sincerity in my eyes. I want her to know I love her, despite everything that’s happened. But I also want her to know I won’t rush her. When she accepts us—if she accepts us—I need her to know it will mean forever for me. However long she lets our forever be.

“Are you going to give me the opportunity to talk or are you going to continue to give speeches?” She playfully bumps her nose against mine, her legs stretching so she can reach my face.

I laugh, white air bursting from my mouth with the action. “I’m all ears.”

“’Kay, thanks,” Veronica responds, reaching up to wrap her small fingers around mine.

Her hand is surprisingly warm in the frigid temperature.

“Maverick,” she begins, looking up at me. Snow has started to fall, and it catches on her long eyelashes. She tries to blink it away, but it continues to cling to them. “When we first met, I was basically a shell of a person. I hated myself so much that there wasn’t really anything else to me. I pushed people away like it was my job. I wasn’t ready to open myself up to another person, let alone give myself to them. But it was different with you. I thought you were safe because you were with Selma. It turns out I was slowly giving away pieces of myself to you unintentionally.

“And when I was hundreds of miles away from you, I wanted to intentionally give the rest of myself to you. Because when I saw my paintings on that stage, raising money for Connor’s Ocean, my head realized what my heart already knew. It knew I needed you. It knew that you made me a better person, that you made me not just want to be better, but actually be better.

“You inspired me to figure my shit out. That’s what I’ve been doing for the last month. Since I last saw you, I’ve been talking about my problems, facing the Liams, and even bonding with my parents. I still have so much to work on. You’ll get annoyed with me, I promise. I’m still selfish, I can still act like a child, and I still can’t figure out why you and Aspen are so close, but if you’ll have me, I want to give this another shot.” She places her tiny hand over my chest.

My thick jacket must be in the way, however, because she slowly brings the zipper down. Veronica flattens her palm right above my heart. I can feel the heat of her hand through the thin fabric of my shirt. I would bet money that she could feel the beat of my heart against that small hand. My heart is trying to beat its way out of my chest and land right in her hand.

She already owns it anyway.

“The pieces of my heart love the pieces of your heart. And I was wondering if, as we both fix ourselves, we could maybe mix our pieces together?” Her fingers nervously drum against my chest, something I often find myself doing when I’m nervous.

I open my mouth to say something, but both our heads turn to the house when we hear the chanting from the house. It must be almost midnight because there is the sound of people counting down as the ball begins to drop.

“Ten…nine…eight…seven…”

Veronica lifts up on her toes, so she is face-to-face with me. “I love you with everything I have, Maverick Morrison.”

And as the clock strikes midnight, I start the new year with Veronica’s lips against mine.

It’s perfect.

We hear people cheering inside. Lily even sticks her head out to yell obscenities at us as we continue to make out. I have my fingers threaded through the strands of Veronica’s ponytail, pulling her close to me like I’m a starved man—and I feel like one. Snow has continued to fall around us, leaving small wet spots all over both of us.

“I love you, too,” I tell her. And I do—despite her pushing me away, despite the consequences. I love her.

Best of all, she managed to fall in love with me, too.

Epilogue

Veronica

The water is cold against my toes. I yelp once it begins to brush against my thighs.

Maverick laughs next to me, and I look over at him. His skin is the perfect shade of golden tan after we’ve spent our summer here in South Carolina.

We’ve been together a year and a half now. A year and a half that was filled with ups and downs—but ups and downs we conquered together.

Maverick graduated last summer, pre-law. I was terrified he would move far away, and I would’ve moved anywhere with him, but we both wanted to end up in the same place.

Here—in South Carolina.

Instead of being a criminal defense lawyer, Maverick decided he wanted to pursue his dream of helping people through pro-bono opportunities. So, he just changed his direction on how exactly he would do that. Now, he’s in his first year of law school to become an attorney for nonprofits. He plans to open his own practice here in South Carolina.

His first client will be Connor’s Ocean.

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