Page 49 of The Consequence of Loving Me

He doesn’t say anything else.

It’s an odd feeling to know something that used to be unattainable is now within your reach.

Will I still want him now that I know he’s emotionally available?

I’m scared to find out the answer.

Somebody taps me on the shoulder, and I look over to find Lily leaning toward us.

“Hey, you two, I can feel the intensity of your conversation—like can really feel it—but the rest of us are trying to play a game.” Her hair cascades off her shoulder as she scolds us. There’s something written in her eyes that I can’t quite read, but just as soon as she looks at us, she’s back to glaring at someone across the circle.

My eyes follow in that same direction to find hers pinned on Aspen.

I feel the heat in my cheeks when I continue to look around the circle, realizing that the conversation between me and Maverick wasn’t as private as I thought. While I’m confident no one could hear what was being said, I do know some were watching it unfold.

With so many things looming in the air, and so many unspoken words, I look at Maverick one last time before I get back up and return to my spot next to Tristan.

“Everything okay?” Tristan whispers next to me, his eyes on Maverick.

I look at Tristan, giving him a nod and what I hope is a convincing smile. Because inside, I’m losing my shit. Part of me wants to jump Maverick’s bones, have sex with him until he no longer takes up space in my mind. The other part of me wants to run for the hills because I don’t want to put him in the same position as Connor.

Aspen finally takes a spot in the circle after kissing the girl he’d been talking to on the cheek. He places an empty bottle of vodka in the middle of us all. “Tristan, you go first since it’s your birthday.”

My eyes dart to the man next to me. I didn’t know it was his birthday, even after talking to him most of the night.

He looks at me, winking. “Maybe it’ll land on you.” Then, he reaches for the bottle and gives it a good twirl.

Thank god, it doesn’t land on me.

It lands on a red head—a few spots down from Lily—who squeals before eagerly popping her lips together in anticipation. Tristan crawls over to her, planting a kiss against her lips.

I can tell the red head is disappointed when he pulls away a few seconds later. He returns to his spot beside me and the game continues on. Luckily, it’s not my turn, as it was decided that the rule of the game would be that the person the bottle landed on would spin next.

As the game plays on, I sneak glances in Maverick’s direction. I’m still not over the news he shared with me. It’s hard to process. I thought he and Selma had such a solid relationship.

I need to know who ended it.

Why it ended.

I need to know every fucking detail.

I’m staring at the spinning bottle when I realize there’s a chance that bottle might land on Maverick. The person sitting next to him kisses somebody just a few spots down from them, which only reinforces the possibility and I don’t know how I feel about it.

I’m too busy focusing on the pit in my stomach to look back at Maverick. I’m embarrassed by my reaction to the idea of him possibly kissing another girl. I can’t look at him. I can’t risk him looking in my eyes and knowing what’s going on in my head.

If anyone can read me like an open book, it’s Maverick. So, I don’t give him the chance to. My eyes are trained on Lily as she leans forward to spin the bottle. Her fingers are just starting to spread around the base when Aspen jumps up from his spot in the circle.

“Hey, Lily, can I talk to you for a second?” he asks.

Lily’s eyebrows raise, clearly as shocked by Aspen’s interruption as I am. She looks down at the bottle and then back up at Aspen a few times. Finally, she nods her head in confusion, taking her hand off the bottle.

Aspen’s shoulders drop in relief.

He’s got it bad.

The two of them look at each other oddly as they go start a conversation at the base of the stairs. Everyone in the circle talks amongst themselves for a few minutes before the guy sitting next to Lily’s empty spot starts the game back up.

I want to get up and hide in my room, but I also feel this strange need to make Maverick jealous, which is comical because I don’t even know if it’s possible. I don’t know if watching my lips press against another man’s would give him the same unease that I felt just imagining his against someone else’s.

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