Page 45 of The Consequence of Loving Me

Maverick

I hate that I can’t get the image of my best friend in Veronica’s bed out of my head.

It’s been hours—a party now in full swing at our house—but I’m sitting in the basement in a corner where I can somehow still be alone, thinking of the way Veronica and Aspen had been cozy in her bed.

The logical part of me knows there’s absolutely nothing going on between them. But there’s another part of me that feels nothing but jealousy when I think back to the sight.

I’d originally gone downstairs to tell Veronica that Selma and I were over. The guilt from keeping that information a secret was just eating away at me.

I had zero expectations on how Veronica might react to the news. I didn’t want to tell her because I thought something would happen between the two of us. I wanted to tell her just so it would be out in the open. And so she heard it from me.

But instead, I found her and Aspen in deep conversation. Both of them underneath her blanket, their bodies only a few inches apart.

I didn’t know if I was more jealous of Aspen being in her bed or that she may have been telling things to him that she hadn’t told me.

My heart didn’t want her to tell secrets to anybody but me. I wanted to keep all her secrets like they were my own. I wanted to lock them deep inside my heart, to relish in the fact that she trusted them with me and no one else.

I hadn’t thought of how I might feel if her secrets were being told to another.

I’m still trying to work through my feelings when Veronica’s body appears and sits down next to mine.

“Aspen sure knows how to throw a party.” She looks around the crowded space while I look at her.

Her blue eyes are lined in black, making them even more striking. She has her long blonde hair perfectly curled. Currently, it falls down her back, reaching all the way down her spine. She’s wearing some kind of shirt that’s basically see-through, something I haven’t been able to miss as I’ve watched her drift around the party all night.

When she first walked out of her room in that outfit earlier, I was thankful there weren’t many people around to see my reaction. Or my lack thereof, rather, because the sight of her had pinned me to my spot. I’d been listening to Aspen rattle on about all the people he invited when her door opened.

She stepped out in a pair of black jeans that molded to every inch of those lean legs of hers. The sight of her made my stomach clench. It literally hurt to look at her because I was starting to come to terms with how much I wanted her.

The top of her was wrapped in some kind of mesh fabric that barely attempted to cover the skin underneath. Anybody who looked at her could see right through it, all her skin exposed except for the small amount hidden beneath her black bra.

She finished it off with a pair of pink combat boots. Veronica stomped around in that little bit of color in an otherwise all-black outfit. It was so like her.

A contradiction.

A contradiction I’m slowly becoming obsessed with.

Now, a pair of hot pink fingernails snaps in front of my face. “Earth to Maverick.” Veronica draws her hand back to her side, but she leans closer to me, trying to catch my attention.

“Sorry,” I respond, looking around at the party before looking back at her.

“Yeah, well, if one more person attempts to go into my room to hook up, I might cut them.” She stares across the basement at her bedroom door.

The party’s been going for hours now, and we’ve reached the point of the night where people have started to pair off, searching for an empty space to continue to get to know each other.

I can’t help but smirk when I envision a very pissed off Veronica chasing down a couple who were just trying to get it in.

She bumps me with her shoulder. “So, where’s Selma tonight?” Her voice is thoughtful, and when I look in her eyes, there’s something there that makes my throat feel odd.

I want to tell her that Selma and I are done—over. But I don’t want to do it in front of a bunch of horny twenty-somethings. It feels like something that should be admitted in private. Even though Selma and I are no longer together, I’m not sure my heart is ready to jump into something new, especially with Veronica.

Because if my heart goes all in with her, and it doesn’t get reciprocated, I’m not sure I’d ever be able to recover from it.

I’m not sure I’m ready for her to hold something I now realize I’ve never actually given away. I don’t have it in me to watch her take those pink combat boots to my heart and stomp all over it.

Because even though I wish it wasn’t true, a small part of me knows if I allow myself to fall for her, there’s a large chance she won’t give a damn.

So, I keep those words in my head, responding another way to her. “She went back home to see her parents.” It’s not a lie—Selma should be back home with her parents by now, or at least close to it. It’s just not the full truth.

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