Page 130 of Roughing It

And then I fuck it all up by saying, “Stay.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

blakely

“Stay.”

My heart aches at the word. I’ve spent years building a new persona for myself. With hundreds of thousands of followers, my social media empire has been my escape, my rebirth. I’ve transformed myself from the poor, unloved, small-town girl into a confident, glamorous influencer, living a life others only dream of.

Except the truth of how hollow that life is has become increasingly apparent, and it’s thanks to Hudson.

He’s not a man you have a fleeting romance with—he’s a forever man.

I tense, my shoulders drawing up to my ears. Standing, I knock over my plate and coffee. “I, um, I need to use the restroom.” Then, like a rabbit, I bolt. Each step toward the dense thicket of trees has my heart pounding, my chest tightening. Once I’m a safe distance away, I bend over, holding my head between my knees, fighting for air and composure.

The ground rises to meet me, and I’m on my ass in the wetdirt and leaves. With shaky hands, I find my phone and dial the only person I can.

“BB! I’m going to see you in two days. Do you miss me so much you can’t wait?”

“Kirk.”

My voice breaks when I say his name, and he glances up. “Blakely? What’s wrong? Is it Brandee? Are you hurt?”

“No. Not Brandee. Am I hurt?” I pause. “Yes, but it’s my doing.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he asked me to stay.”

Kirk’s eyes widen. “He asked you to?—”

“Stay, but that’s the Hudson version of please move in with me.”

“What did you say?”

I blanch. “I told him I had to use the bathroom.”

Kirk winces in solidarity. “So he says stay, and you run for the trees?”

“Pretty much.” I flop onto my back, not carrying if I’m lying in muck and mud. “What do I do?”

“Do you love him?”

I don’t have to think about it. Yes.

Hudson with his adorable freckles on his rugged face. Hudson, grumpy and glaring while taking care of me. Teaching me. Seeing me, flaws and all—and returning for more. The lack of loneliness. The safe space to figure out who I might be. The nights spent in his arms, being loved by him, loving him.

“Yes, I love him,” I say, looking around as if speaking my feelings out loud might change them.

“Then, and I know this may sound like a wild idea, why don’t you stay?”

If I wasn’t already on my back, Kirk’s words would put me there.

“Don’t look so shocked, BB. Do you remember what I said when I left you there?”

At my nose wrinkle, he presses on. “I said this was going to be life-changing, and I hope it brings you whatever you’re searching for.” He sighs. “And forgive me for making assumptions, but he’s it.”

“Kirk, I can’t. My job. My life. It’s all in Austin.”

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