Page 37 of Meet Me In The Dark

“Boss, what are your thoughts? What should we change?”

More silence.

“Conor,” Luke said, equally frustrated and desperate. “I need you to help stress test the plan. You're my leader. Lead.”

Conor wiped a hand over his face, leaving a streak of dirt from the floor they sat on. “I haven't led you anywhere good. It won't work, Luke. The second we try to overpower them, they’ll shoot us. Shoot you. You think they aren’t prepared for us to fight back? And I'm sorry, because I know it's coming, but I'm selfish and not ready to see you die.”

“Die? What the fuck are you talking about?” What was going on with him?

“I'm prepared to die,” Conor continued, like he hadn't heard Luke. “But I'm not prepared for you to die with me. I'm sorry, I wish you weren't here. I wish I had made you go with Micah and Kara. The only comfort I have is that they’re safe.”

“Holy shit, man.” Luke tried to keep his voice even. “You cannot give up so easily. We're SEALs, we can handle a simple escape. I'll get us out of here, I just need you to have my back.”

“We’re not SEALs anymore,” Conor said.

Luke had never heard Conor sound like that before. Flat, toneless, like nothing mattered. It freaked Luke the fuck out. He couldn't be strong and smart for the two of them. What was he going to do, how were they supposed to survive, if Conor had given up on living?

“Boss, Kara needs you. She needs both of us. We owe it to her to work on getting back to her safe and whole.”

Closing his eyes, Conor's next words turned Luke's heart into stone.

“She doesn't need me. I owed her a life, and that's what I got for her. I'm just sorry she's losing you. It should've just been me.”

Luke's abandonment issues ran deep. They were part of what had driven him to take part in Kara's kidnapping and subsequent test, ignoring his moral compass. He didn't regret that, not anymore—it had brought her back to them. But it didn't mean they didn't get triggered at vastly inopportune times, like right now.

“Conor, you can share your regrets with me until you're goddamned blue, but you resigning yourself to both our deaths is a slap in the face, you fucking asshole. I'm glad Kara matters. Nice to know I don't, or you'd fucking help me.”

Conor flinched. Point scored. But he didn’t change his mind. “You matter more than you will ever know. But I can't rewrite the past. My mistakes dragged you down with me, and all I can hope now is that they kill me first. Or maybe they only kill me.”

The stone that had been Luke’s heart dropped to his feet. That had been the wrong tactic to take. So he forced himself to be vulnerable, to let his desperation through. Being strong and macho wasn't going to get him anywhere.

“Conor, baby...I cannot do this alone. I love you. Don't leave me like this.”

Conor groaned, a deeply painful sound that burned Luke's ears. “You can't say that now. Not now.”

“Why not now? Especially if you’re right, and this is all the time we have. I’m supposed to what, shut up? Not share my feelings? Abandon you here? Fuck that. I’m going to share my feelings until it shakes you out of this—whateverthe hell it is—because we are both getting out of here. I’m not letting you die, and I’m not dying either, so get that shit out of your screwed up head, man. Wake. The. Fuck. Up.”

Conor blinked, and his eyes looked like they had life in them again. Not a lot, but it was enough. He opened his mouth to speak when the door opened.

Chris entered with two of his guards, a third wheeling a cart covered in torture implements.

“Let’s try this again,” Chris said jovially. “You tell me where Kara and Micah are hiding, or where they might be going, and I won’t have my men treat Conor to the special of the day.”

“Don’t you dare fucking touch him,” Luke warned, stiffening.

Conor spoke up above him. “Don’t listen to him. You want to hurt me, don’t you, professor? After all, I was the first one who got inside Kara’s sweet pussy after she left you. I broke that seal, didn’t I? Fuck, that must burn?—”

The professor grabbed a knife from the table and stabbed it into Conor’s left side, below his ribs. Conor grunted as the blood welled, spilling out onto his abs and down over his hip. If Luke could have done something, he would. He even found the strength somewhere inside to fight at the shackle holding him from reaching his friend and lover. But the shackle held, and all he could do was watch as Chris got his temper back under control.

“You know, Luke, it’s interesting to see proof of who you care about more. Kara matters most to you, doesn’t she? If she didn’t, if you cared about Conor here even half as much, you’d at least consider giving up her location to make him safe. After all, she shot you, didn’t she? Does she even return your affection, your devotion? Does she deserve this love you have for her?”

His words did what they intended to, slicing deep into Luke’s skin. He loved Conor, he wanted to save him, but he couldn’t give Kara and Micah up for him. It wasn’t selfish, or choosing Kara over Conor. It was right.

Conor looked at him, sharing the same thought.

So Luke spoke. “I don’t think you understand how something like this works, Chris. I don’t know where Kara is, and even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you—neither of us will. You can beat us and torture us and threaten to kill us and, hell, actually kill us. You can destroy us in front of each other, but we will not bend, and we will not break. Because giving them up to save each other? Would only be betraying each other. Our first duty to her and Micah and each other is to keep them safe.”

Conor’s voice rang out in the room. “You fucked up, professor. You treated Kara like a toy you were bored of and tried to break her. But Kara can’t be broken, and she found her way forward—to us. You let a good thing go, and you’ll pay more of a price than we ever will.”

---