Page 81 of Meet Me In The Dark

“Kara, I’m sorry,” he started.

Oh, he wanted to continue their argument from earlier, did he?

“If this is more ‘mea culpa’ bullshit, Conor, I swear?—”

He interrupted her. “What were you going to say, before Christopher showed up? ‘And until you understand thatIam in control of my own goddamned choices, and that I choose you, you won’t—’” he quoted her. “I won’t what?”

Kara was temporarily taken aback by Conor calling Chris by his actual name instead of the professor. It felt like progress. Was it, though?

She forced herself to focus. “That until you understand that I’m in control of my own choices, and you’re one of them, you’ll never find happiness. Or peace. Not with me, not with us, not with anyone. Not even with yourself.”

And she would make sure he had a chance to find both.

He nodded. “Makes sense.”

She gaped at him. “‘Makes sense?’ Please don’t placate me, Conor. Not now.”

“I’m not placating you. I’m trying to apologize for being a complete dumbass. An ass, period.”

Her heart leapt into her throat. “What are you saying?”

He glanced over at Micah and Luke before turning back to her. “That I was wrong. I let my delayed guilt and self-loathing get the better of me. I was so worried I was like Christopher by taking you, I did exactly what I did before. I decided for you. Once again, I didn’t let you choose. Just repeated the same stupid mistakes.”

His dark eyes were filled with remorse, and for once, understanding. But she needed to make sure he really got it, so she crossed the room and stood, looming over him. It was a new experience for her—he was so much taller than her,she always felt so small beside him. This time, he was the one looking up.

It made her feel powerful in a way she hadn’t before.

“And what were those mistakes?”

“Not listening to you. Not trusting that you know your own mind. Trying to make decisions for you. Preemptively going down a path without your input because I was too afraid of the outcome and wanted to control it, get it over with. I get it now, wise girl. I promise. If I had to live without you, every moment, every breath would be torture. But I’d take that torture, if that’s what you wanted. And if you want to be with us, then I’ll gladly do that, too.”

Oh, god. He was getting it. The idiot really, finally, understood. She felt tears fall from her eyes and track down her face, and Conor tried to reach out his hand this time, only to come up short.

“How did you figure this out?” Micah said from the other side of the room. “Because before…”

“Christopher, actually. He brought me into his quarters to psychologically torture me, tell me how similar he and I were—again. And I finally got it. He and I were similar?—”

“No,” Kara interrupted, and Luke and Micah echoed her.

But Conor wasn’t done. With a hoarse voice, he said, “Wewere.Because neither of us were giving you a choice. But that’s how I can be different from him. That’s how I can give you the life you deserve. By giving you that choice. Whether it’s to be with us, or to leave. Whatever it is, I’ll accept it, even if it destroys me.” He gulped, and closed his eyes for a moment, before opening them again. Kara could have gotten lost in the dark, beautiful promise in them. “You decide this time, my brave, strong, wise, extraordinary girl. You.”

Lightness filled Kara, and an even firmer resolve. If thiswas what it took, to get them to this point, where they could meet each other as partners, as equals, then she would take it.

She leaned down, until their lips were a hairsbreadth apart.

“I decide,” she said.

“Yes.”

Placing her lips to his ear, she whispered, “Good, boss. Because I already decided. I’m keeping you.”

Before he could kiss her, she turned her head to look at Luke, then Micah. “I’m keeping all of you.”

“Damn right, you are,” Luke said.

Micah just smiled at her, nodding. Once.

Did they know she meant forever? Or did they really think she was going to let them die?

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