Page 77 of Meet Me In The Dark

“I love you, all of you,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

And thenhewas the one who was dragged out of the cell, leaving Kara staring after him, absolutely terrified.

24

The room Christopher took Conor to was nicer than anything he’d seen since San Francisco. Pale grey striped wallpaper, a large sectional, a fireplace and a TV. The room belonged far, far away from where they were.

“My quarters,” the professor explained. “Please, have a seat.”

As if Conor was a guest and not a prisoner. Not like Conor could forget, given the rifle poking him in the back.

He sat. Considered if this was a good time to take the professor out, for good.

As if he’d heard him, Christopher said, “I wouldn’t try killing me. See, Ms. Blum is being taken back to the bathroom as we speak, and the guards that are with her have strict orders to check in with me every other minute. If I don’t respond, their orders are to rape and kill Ms. Blum, and then kill Mr. Feldman and Mr. James.”

“What if I don’t believe you?” Conor said through gritted teeth.

Christopher lifted a shoulder in a shrug as he carefully used the cane to sit down in a large armchair facing the couch. “You can choose not to. But is it really worth the risk?”

Choose.

And until you understand that I am in control of my own goddamned choices, and that I choose you, you won’t—Kara had said. Conor desperately wanted to know what she’d been about to say. What wouldn’t he be able to do, or have?

And was she right?

“You know, Mr. O’Connell,” Christopher began once he was situated. “I had such high hopes for you, too. We were going to achieve great things together. If only you had stuck to the plan and hadn’t tried to escape with Mr. James, this whole thing could have gone very differently.”

“Oh?” Conor asked, still distracted by what Kara had said to him.

“Yes. Mr. James, Ms. Blum, and Mr. Feldman would all be safe. All you had to do was sacrifice yourself for them, and they would be living easy, happy lives now. Mourning your absence, of course. But they’d be safe.”

Safe.Conor focused on what the other man was saying. His gut clenched. Yes, he knew that the professor was still manipulating him, but once again, there was truth in what he was saying.

The professor rubbed his chin. “You know, Conor, I know what it’s like to fuck up. After all, my preoccupation with Ms. Blum destroyed my marriage and my career, and as much as I blame Ms. Blum for that, I also recognize my fault in it. The worst part, about all of that, was that I didn’t have to behave the way I did. But I was lost in what I wanted instead of what mattered. And of course, I keep making thesame mistake again, because I keep being preoccupied by her.” He sounded rueful.

“If you know that, then why are we here?”

“Because I can’t help myself,” he told Conor. “In that way, you and I are also very similar. She’s my…what did Mr. James use to call her? Kryptonite pussy?”

Hearing the words come out of their enemy’s mouth was like a punch directly over Conor’s healing bullet wound. He had to force himself not to deck the man.

A small, sad smile appeared on the professor’s face. “You, too, keep making the same mistake, and if I let you live, I believe you’re doomed to keep repeating it. You and I are both so similar, except in one way—you’re willing to give her up, and I’ m not, and I believe that makes you the better man.”

Conor was, after all, trying to be a better man.

Except what had Luke said? It didn’t matter if they were good or bad, because they were hers? Each other’s?

He didn’t want to be like Christopher. But how could he be different, and still give Kara what she wanted?

I am in control of my own goddamned choices.

I choose you.

“Professor,” Conor asked. “Since you know she’s your Kryptonite, since you think I’m the better man because I’m willing to give her up, wouldn’t you give Kara the choice? If she asked you to let her go, to let us live? If you are so … preoccupied with her, wouldn’t you let her choose?”

The professor chuckled. “Kara doesn’t know what she wants. You heard her, didn’t you? No, she needs to be given structure, have decisions made for her. You understand that.”

Conor had heard her. That time, at least. How adamantshe was that he wasn’t listening to what she wanted or needed. That once again, he was deciding for her, because he needed to be the one in control.

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