Page 30 of Rejected Plus-Size Mate

“Then explain yourself!” I can’t stand the plaintive tone in my voice, but I can’t help it, either. “What the hell is going on with you? Why can’t you trust me?”

A look of complete defeat falls across his features. He looks so broken, my heart goes out to him. He’s such a toughguy, so seeing the look of vulnerability on his face activates every caregiving urge in me.

I step towards him, expecting him to pull away. He doesn’t, but I’m too scared to touch him in case he does.

I can’t take another rejection.

“Leslie,” he says softly. “I was undercover with the Sawpit Pack for a whole year. That’s why I disappeared, and that’s why I left you.”

Chapter 11 - Kyle

There is not a single sound in the forest, the sky, or across the plain. Even the wind has gone quiet, as if its soft whisper would be an affront to the magnitude of this moment.

I feel so naked, I almost start trembling. It’s got nothing to do with having no clothes on. I just stripped off the first layer of my emotional armor.

“What?” Leslie says. The wilderness around us remains unnaturally still.

“Bae asked me to go undercover at Sawpit, to scope out what was happening there. He wants to avoid another incident like what happened a few years ago when they came to town and kidnapped Gina.”

“I don’t understand,” she says, shaking her head. “He beat that alpha—killed him. The story is legendary.”

“Yes, and at first, that looked like enough. But they started moving again, and stayed out of the way of the scouts. He wanted me to find out why.”

“So, you—I mean, you—”

“Look, Leslie,” I cut her off. “How about we head back? I’m happy to tell you what happened, but I still feel a bit exposed out here.”

She smiles. “Okay. It won’t be long until I start feeling the cold, I guess.”

I wait for her to shift, then I do, too. She races ahead of me, and I try to chase her down, but I can’t let go of my strict control, not even for a second.

If I let go, if I forget, that’s when the bad things happen.

We get back to my place, and Leslie puts some milk on the stove straight away. I grab a couple of robes and blankets while she makes hot cocoa and brings it to me. She bundles herself up in one of the robes, wrapping the blanket around herself as well. She looks so soft and cuddly, I just want to wrap my arms around her and never let go.

The only time I ever feel truly safe is when I am holding her.

“So… you joined the Sawpit Pack, and I’m guessing it was traumatic?” Leslie keeps her eyes on her cup of cocoa, obviously trying to start the topic lightly.

I sigh, shaking my head. “There is no way to dress this up, and that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you before now. They are brutal creatures. I stalked the forest around their territory for a while, waiting for them to notice me. I got jumped by three wolves. I intended to—it was the best way to make contact. I had to let them wail on me a bit, let them beat me.”

“Beat you?” she echoes, her eyes wide and glittering. I nod.

“I’m not sugar-coating this, okay? You wanted it, you got it.”

Leslie nods, her face pale. I want to stop. I don’t want these awful things in her head, but now that the first layer of armor has come off, I’m stripping down, getting to the bare bones, and I can’t stop it.

“So, yeah. I got beat up pretty bad. They dragged me back to the alpha, Jethro. It’s kind of an initiation deal to see how tough you are, but it’s also a tactic. If they drag you in half-dead, you’re no risk to the other wolves.”

“Okay,” she says softly.

My face twists, and I have to look away. The next part is even worse.

“So, pretty much straight away, you have to prove your worth. They are taking in rogue wolves, outcasts, wolves that other packs would kill on sight. They drag them in, half-dead and beaten, but as soon as you start to recover, you have to prove that you’re one of them.”

“How?” she asks, her voice full of fear.

I let out a deep sigh. “They make you hit a place for goods or money. I was lucky, I got a gas station late at night. There was only one attendant and a customer. I…”

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