Page 5 of Rejected Plus-Size Mate

Kyle loved that about me.

When he first came into my house, I apologized for the scarcity. He laughed and told me he loved it. A couple of chairs and a table in the kitchen. A recliner and nice TV in the living room. A huge, soft bed.

“Looks like a palace compared to some of the places I’ve stayed, babe. You’ve got all you need here.”

Maybe that was a lie. Maybe everything he ever said was a lie.

I wrap myself up in a few thick blankets and settle into my recliner with some ice cream. Everyone on TV seems to be kissing happily or killing each other, neither of which I want to see. I finally find a documentary on mountain climbing and leave it on.

When Kyle first broke up with me, I spent days crying. I wanted to talk to him about it, but he completely ghosted me. When I finally got upset enough to go to Silver Meadows, I found out that he had left town.

He had dropped out of contact with everyone, even his best friends. I asked around a lot, not even caring if people suspected we had been together. He didn’t just ghost me—he completely vanished from the lives of everyone he knew.

I took another week off work to cry. This hurt soon turned into a fierce, burning anger. He broke my heart and crushed my soul, then he fucked off like an absolute coward, making sure I could never ask him anything about the breakup or get any closure.

As my misery mingled with rejection and rage, all of my own insecurities came trickling back. I’d been teased for my weight back in high school, and there was one boyfriend in particular who had humiliated me. I’d never really gotten over that, even after I moved past being self-conscious about my weight.

Even though I knew it was unlikely, I couldn’t help thinking maybe Kyle rejected me for someone prettier. As I was getting to know him, I thought he was a genuine guy who didn’t think that way. But after what he did to me, I had to accept maybe I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did.

When we were together, it seemed as if my body excited him. It made me confident and bold. Even though I’d gotten past my insecurities, being with Kyle took me even further—I felt strong, pretty, and even sexy.

Between my sadness and my fury, this cavern of uncertainty grew. I began to question everything about myself. As the days went by, a kind of numbness fell over me, like a defense mechanism. I could perform simple tasks without getting triggered or crying too much. It was an improvement.

When I finally went back to work, I couldn’t quite manage to be happy, but I did smile and talk with people. Gladys noticed the change in me but didn’t pry, except to regularly check in about my health. I didn’t have any other really close friends, so my misery went unnoticed.

I withdrew as much as I could from everyone and everything. Not only was I too sad to participate, I doubted that anyone enjoyed my company anymore.

With a sharp dig of the spoon, I scoop up the last of the double chocolate ripple, finishing the carton of ice cream. The guys on TV are still hanging off the edges of the mountains, going through the various life-threatening challenges they consider to be fun.

I live near some of the most impressive mountains in the country, and I’m sure as shit not tempted to climb any of them.

I wrap myself up in the blankets even more tightly, looking at the TV but not focusing on it. I listen to the howling of the wind outside, and the hammering of the rain that will soon turn to snow. I let the savage sounds lull me to sleep, drifting into dreams of cold, harsh places where there is no comfort.

When the sound of my phone breaks through the dream, I reach for it gratefully. Coming out of such a deep sleep makes me feel like I was drowning in a stormy sea, my hand desperately grasping for a life rope.

“Hello?” I mutter, pressing the phone to my face.

“Hello, Leslie, darling. How are you?”

I hold in a groan. I love Gladys, I really do. She’s like everyone’s grandmother, and a true leader in the pack. The thing is, I’m not used to having anyone take care of me. I’m starting to feel overwhelmed by it.

Even worse, if she keeps being so nice, I might spill the big secret.

“I’m okay,” I answer, trying to sit up. It isn’t the first time I’ve slept in my recliner. A lot of the time, I just can’t face the empty bed.

“You don’t sound so good,” Gladys says skeptically.

“Yeah, I just woke up. I’m feeling okay. Thanks for letting me out early.”

“No trouble at all, my dear. I wanted to check in on you, but I’ve also got some news to pass on. Pack business.”

“Oh?” I ask, my heart starting to pound. It’s really stupid, but I want to keep Kyle’s secret. He didn’t want anyone to know about us, so I don’t, either. Yes, there were moments of vengeance when I didn’t care if anyone found out, but those passed quickly.

What if I told, and no one believed me? What if they laughed at me?

“Yes, there was a recent meeting with all the elders from both packs. Because the alliance is going so well, we decided to put together another arranged marriage.”

“Oh?” This time, my voice is stronger.

---