Page 41 of Under His Control

I pressed my lips together and sighed. There it was again, that difficult label. It followed me through my childhood, into adolescence, and it dogged after me into adulthood.

“I’m just teasing…” She elbowed me as we searched through the boxes for more décor items to stage and place.

“I know.” I was aware that she was teasing me, but it was getting old.

“Honestly, I don’t know how you managed to be as normal as you are.” She shook her head, musing. “Living with constant danger puts a different spin on a childhood.”

“It’s not so much that as the never-ending demand to be on. To look powerful. To stay aloof because everyone will want to tear you apart.”

Tessa frowned at me, sad and sympathetic. “You matured too soon, huh?”

I nodded. “It can look glamorous, living in the mansion, having all your needs and desires met, the staff and guards to cater to you and keep you safe.”

“But…” she guessed.

“But the power and influence can confine you too.”

“Eh, Nina and I will keep you well-rounded,” she joked, bumping her side to mine.

“And besides,” I joked right back, “you’re more likely to have a kid than me.”

“Why do you say that?” She grinned, giving me a look like she had a secret on me.

There’s no way she can know Liam and I have been hooking up…

“Well, there’s the obvious fact that you’re engaged to Romeo and busy with him, whereas I’m single.”

She shrugged. “I want to wait, though.”

“Yeah?” This sort of girl talk—chatting about babies—wasn’t something I often did. Then again, I seldom had women I could consider close friends. Nina and Tessa were introducing me to a world of sisterhood I’d been missing out on for far too long.

“I want kids. He does too, but I’m too busy enjoying myself with him to rush it.”

I scrunched my face. “Please, no more details.” Romeo was more like a brother to me than a cousin. Thinking about my cousin’s sex life wasn’t appealing, either.

She giggled. “Okay. Okay.”

“Did you always know you wanted to have children one day?”

“Yes and no. I mean, until I met Romeo, I was firmly against it. My parents were so stubborn about my marrying Elliot Hines, and I wanted nothing to do with him. They shoved that idea down my throat so much that I dreaded it coming true, and I did not want kids in the mix with someone pervy like him.”

“I understand.”

“What about you? I bet you’re not crazy about the idea of having kids, either.”

I frowned, disliking how much it hurt to be projected as a woman lacking maternal desires.

“I only say that with the way you were raised. In the Mafia. I bet you’ve been dreading being arranged to someone, right? There are so many levels of politics and rules I’m not aware of, but I’m guessing you can’t just meet someone and choose them.”

“Dante would never force me to marry someone I didn’t love.”

She smiled. “I know, but you can’t blame me for assuming that. It is the way of other Mafia families, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

“So, assuming you could pick your man, would you want kids?”

I nodded, biting my lip with how risqué it felt to admit that. “I never thought I would, partly because of what you’re saying about raising them in the Mafia. Who would want to bring up a child among danger?”

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