Page 119 of When Hearts Surrender

“Anything we want, really. Here, we are Anna and Silas again, just you and me. No press, no work, no worries.”

No death. Or at least, that’s what I’m trying to tell myself.

“There’s only one place I’ll take you the day after tomorrow, but the rest of the time is free for us to do whatever we want.”

She beams, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “You, mister. You surprise me.”

My heart jolts as I remember what she told me at Nellie’s. I want to be the Silas she saw that night, the one who surprised her and made her smile like she had everything she could possibly need in the world.

But I know I’m just delaying the inevitable, that every moment she’s with me, she’s in danger. Until I find out how to break the curse, I have to do the right thing to save her, even if it kills me to do it.

“Do you regret getting into my car then? Since I’mMr. Bad News?” I smirk, throwing her words that night back at her.

Belle grins, and I fight the urge to kiss her again. If only I could bottle this moment to keep with me always.

She winks. “No, Maxwell. Never. There’s nothing in this world that can ever make me regret knowing you and being with you.”

My breathing quickens and my resolve fails as I crush my lips to hers again.

I hope that’ll still hold true later when we get back to the city.

I’d recommend leaving her,Elias’s voice whispers in my mind. If I need to leave her to protect her while I find the answers, I know it’ll still break her heart. I’ll be taking the choice away from her again and she’ll hate me for it.

And I don’t know what I’ll do if she ever looks at me with hatred in her eyes.

Chapter 44

The next morning, Iwake up to wetness in my underwear and cramping in my stomach, followed by crushing sadness in my heart because I know what this means.

My period is here.

We’ve been married for half a year now, and he has never worn a condom when we have sex, which has been regularly even during our hate sex phase and now, it’s almost daily, and sometimes even multiple times a day.

But I still haven’t gotten pregnant.

My strange dizzy spells and cold sweats have never resulted in a positive pregnancy test—the ones I take secretly because I wish a miracle would happen and two little lines would show up.

Rubbing my aching abdomen, a sob chokes in my throat, and I turn on the faucet in the bathroom, not wanting to wake Maxwell up, who’s still asleep.

Images flutter through me—one or two little children, maybe more, dark-haired, gray eyes like his, or perhaps tawny eyes like mine. The girl would have my thick black hair and pale skin and the boy would have his tall build and dimples. These dreams have become more real and precious now that Maxwell and I are together, even if he won’t say those three words to me.

But I know he loves me, deep inside.

He’s just afraid.

I wipe the tears from my face, my heart pinching as I flush the bloody water down the toilet. I wish my body can grant me this wish, to have a child with this man I desperately love with all my heart.

He still doesn’t know. I haven’t told him about my condition because I’m afraid he’ll think I’m broken, just like my parents do.

Deep down inside, there’s a kernel of shame threatening to spark, disdain at myself for not being normal like other women my age, for not being able to easily do what we were put on earth to do.

Why me? Why?

It’s irrational, and I know I’m much more than a fertile womb, but anger and sadness don’t care about logic and reason. These emotions are my constant companion when I lay awake at night, my stomach burning and cramping, my body telling me yet again, not this month.

It doesn’t matter.I look at my face in the mirror and wipe away my tears.There are options. You aren’t broken, Belle. You’re worthy of your dreams, even if they may end up different from what you’d imagine. Someday, you’ll look back and be proud of how far you’ve come.

The words feel empty, tiny specks of dust trying to fill a cavernous hole, but I persist. Because I know everyone is dealt with different cards in life, and these happen to be mine.

---