Page 9 of Bonded Beyond Trickery

Be brave.

She makes it sound easy and the way my wolf growls softly makes me wonder if it is. Either way, I need to face my past decisions and whatever the future holds for me and my mate, even if it means he rejects me.

CHAPTER 4

WHITAKER

I tug at the collar of my shirt, hating that I’m wearing a suit even though it’s appropriate considering I’m heading to the mating ball. If it were up to me, I’d go in jeans and a henley, but that would not be appropriate for tonight.

It’s a damn good thing that shifters are attractive, and I know I’m wearing my suit well. With a glance around my pack, who have gathered around in front of the packhouse, we do clean up well. Everyone is dressed up and the women are primped and painted to highlight their beauty.

While it’s true that I’m not interested in any she-wolf who isn’t my mate, that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the beauty around me. Most of the women are wearing long dresses made out of material that clings to their bodies. It’s a good thing thatshifters run hot because no one seems to notice the slight chill in the air even though there is quite a bit of skin on display.

The guys are dressed in slacks and button downs for the most part, but there are quite a few in full suits. They clearly got new haircuts, and a lot have styled their hair. It’s endearing; I hope their mates appreciate the effort.

My gut is twisting at the thought of not finding my mate. Still, being surrounded by my pack, so many of their faces filled with hope to findtheirmates, allows me to push away the fear of coming home alone. For some of my wolves around me, this is their first mating ball.

Not only are they excited about the prospect of finding their mate, but they’re excited to visit another pack and dress up for the night. It’s a novelty, for sure, but one I’m pleased they can revel in.

“Remember,” I project my voice to ensure that everyone standing in front of the packhouse can hear me, “keep in mind that while we’re at Blood Moon, you’re there as a representative of Silver Howler. Show respect to any Alphas who are in attendance. Keep your nose peeled for your mate and let me know if there’s anything I can help you with.” The grinning faces of my packmates show hope in a way which has the ache growing in my chest. “May the Moon Goddess bless you this evening with a mate. If you are so blessed, be open and honest with the other half of your soul. Cherish them for who they are and expect nothing less for yourself.”

Howls explode from those around me and their enthusiastic reaction has my chest warming. The contentment and the happiness of the pack wraps around me and reminds me that the emptiness I feel without my mate is only a fraction of who I am.

“Many mates will be found tonight,”my wolf growls softly in my mind.

That has me pausing as I climb into the passenger seat of an SUV along with some of my top warriors. My eyes stay trained on the passing scenery as we head to the Blood Moon Pack.

It can be bittersweet when mates are found between packs, and it has nothing to do with the jealousy that threatens to pull me under and drown me. When mates are found in another pack, that means we might gain a pack member, but losing a pack member is equally as possible.

Tradition used to dictate that the female would always follow the male to his pack. In some ways pack life and culture is still very much geared toward the males, but we’re changing in other ways. It’s not a given that the female will be the one to go to their mate’s pack now.

I force myself to think about whether Silver Howler will gain more pack members than we lose in the wake of the mating ball. Unfortunately, that has me wondering if we’ll be gaining a Luna this time around.

I almost don’t have it in me to be disappointed one more time. How many of these balls and visits to other packs have I gone on with far too much hope? Every time I’ve been let down, every time I’ve gone back to my pack alone, it’s embedded a bitterness deep inside of me that I don’t want to recognize or admit is truly there.

But it is.

I feel it festering inside of me and growing with every passing minute that I remain mateless.

“Tonight will be different,”my wolf assures me with a sense of clarity that has me pausing.

“What do you mean, ‘tonight will be different’? How do you know?”My questions are demanding which would normally make my wolf bristle. He is, after all, an Alpha.

I brace for my wolf to snarl at me and the headache that it, inevitably, brings with it. Shocking me entirely, my wolf lets out a gentle chuff and settles in my mind. I can almost see him languidly stretching, almost as if preparing his muscles for the hunt.

Normally he’s agitated, on edge, and raring for a fight. It’s one of the reasons that it’s been difficult to keep my own emotions in check over the last few years, the problem only getting worse the longer we don’t have our Luna at our side.

The feral edge I’ve gotten so used to, the one that has forced me to keep a tight leash on my control, has almost completely evaporated. It’s unsettling in a way I never thought it would be.

“How can you be so relaxed? It’s unlikely that our luck will change tonight, that we’ll suddenly find our Luna,”I bark the words at him, wanting to rile him up because at least then it’s behavior I can understand.

The need to have our other half feels like a brand always being pressed against our skin and our soul. It’s painful and constant. In so many ways, without my Luna, the resentment of my wolf and myself, has grounded me and anchored me.

As my wolf simply huffs and rolls onto his side in my mind, the sensation of feeling lost intensifies.

His rumble is lazy and sets my teeth on edge,“You’ll find out soon enough.”At my grunt, he sits up a little straighter, a steeledge to his growled thoughts,“Just remember that our Luna is to be cherished, no matter what.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”I don’t think I’ve ever felt or sounded more panicked in my own mind then I do right now.“What aren’t you telling me?”

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