Page 12 of Bonded Beyond Trickery

“I’m not sure where to start,” I admit, honesty ringing through my voice, small as it is.

“How about you start with whatever the fuck you did to prevent me from being able to scent you as my mate five years ago at your first mating ball,” Whitaker barks.

I startle and Crew lets out a low, warning growl. I shoot my brother a look because as much as I love that he has my back, now is not the time.

“First,” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly before meeting Whitaker’s gaze and holding it, “I want to say that I’m sorry for the deception. I made the decision to hide my scent years before I turned 18. It had nothing to do with you, specifically, as my mate.”

Whitaker narrows his eyes, his words laced with sarcasm, “That makes me feel so much better.”

I sigh and slump back in the chair. “It was a witch. I paid her for a spell to hide my scent.”

“Fuck,” Crew breathes out.

When I glance over at my brother, it is to find him scraping a hand down his face. The look he shoots me is filled with disappointment along with a big side of bewilderment. Yeah, can’t say I blame him there.

My mate pulls my attention back to him and makes a motion with his hand for me to continue. Okay, then.

“You know how it is growing up as an Alpha’s kid,” I start my explanation hoping he can understand where I was coming from even though it doesn’t feel as simple as it did when I came up with my plan. “There’s a lot of pressure and teachings about how the pack comes first. I watched how my parents were so in love, while also sacrificing so much for the pack.”

“It is the Alpha’s duty,” Whitaker’s words feel like a punch to the gut.

“It is,” I whisper, my eyes pricking with tears that I won’t, can’t, let fall. “I respect that duty, but for a girl with dreams, it was a duty I didn’t want.” I shrug and look at my brother, hoping he knows that I don’t blame him for what I’m about to admit. “It’s different for the second born, especially when they’re female. I saw all the sacrifices, the duty, but the expectation is different. Because both my parents are Alpha wolves, I was told early on that I would have an Alpha for a mate. Being Luna would mean I would be sacrificing time with my mate, sharing their devotion, and giving up on my dreams.”

“You always focused on your education. You were passionate about learning,” Crew’s whispered words feel like a salve instead of the barbs they could be.

I nod slowly and hope Whitaker can understand. “I wanted something for me while also making me valuable to the pack, especially if I was to be a Luna, beyond my status as a mate and a female. I wanted a purpose and to be able to continue my education.”

I can hear the barely contained rage in my mate’s voice, “So you decided to find a witch, get a spell, and hide your scent from me?”

“Yes,” I admit, the words quiet, but their meaning so fucking loud.

Whitaker starts to pace the space, what little of it there is. The way he runs his fingers through his dark hair, only slightly longer on top than it is on the sides, is mesmerizing. My eyes drift over my mate.

The last five years have been good to him. He was an attractive Alpha before, strong and imposing, but he’s only gained muscles and an inner strength in the years since I’ve seen him. The suit he’s wearing molds to his body and makes me want to unwrap and explore him. But the tension he’s carrying, the sheer desolation rolling off him, tells me that my touch wouldn’t be welcomed right now.

And that fucking kills me.

My wolf whimpers in my mind. She wants her mate, has always wanted her mate. It’s only because of her connection and love for me that she ever allowed my plan to go on. She wanted my happiness, and I convinced her that we would be better equipped to take on our future with a business degree and experience in the world beyond the shelter of the pack.

I still don’t think I’m wrong about that but worry fills me. He could reject us, which is the worst-case scenario. Even if he does accept us, he could hold us at a distance, the same distance we took without his consent or knowledge.

My stomach knots with anxiety and fear, two emotions that I am not used to experiencing.

The silence that descends in the office is oppressive. “It didn’t feel like I had much of a choice,” I whisper into the void, hoping that they’re enough.

They’re not. I know it. But, they’re all I have.

Crew heaves out a heavy sigh and looks between Whitaker and me. “I’m going to leave you to talk.” I’m sure I give him a look of panic because he comes closer and presses a kiss to my forehead. His voice is gentle, “I might understand why you did it, but that doesn’t mean it was the right thing to do.”

The lump in my throat goes fucking nowhere even as I try and swallow around it. I nod, knowing he’s right.

Crew turns toward my mate and warns, “While you can be pissed, don’t forget that we’re only granted one mate by the Goddess. They are a blessing and forgiveness is a gift,” there’s a weight in his words and I know it’s because of his own experience with Elodie.

I cringe because while he fucked up with is mate in a way I didn’t, we’re still two peas in a damn pod.

My eyes are fixed on Whitaker as the click of the door closing rings through the room. He doesn’t look at me, not at first. I’m okay with it because being able to take in my mate, this time with nothing between us, is a gift.

One I can only hope isn’t snatched away from me. I would deserve it if it were, but that doesn’t mean I’m without hope.

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