There was no way this was anything but a trash fire of an idea—his idea.

“Esme?” The voice belonged to Gabe.

I shoved Jasper as hard as I could, completely dislodging myself from him. The water felt cold all of a sudden and a shiver carried over my skin.

Shame, disgust, horror—all three were good choices to describe the feelings muddled up inside of me. I expected to see the same feelings on Jasper’s face. But his expression was cool and calm, like that kiss hadn’t affected him at all.

“Jasper?” Gabe’s voice grew closer. “You two over here?”

I glared at Jasper. I wanted to twist his nipple and scream at him and make him apologize. While also a teeny tiny treacherous part of me kind of wanted to kiss him again because apparently I was nothing if not self-destructive.

Jasper’s eyes softened. He wanted to say something. I didn’t know if I could handle whatever it was. I didn’t know how to feel.

Jasper reached a hand closer then pulled it back. “Es?—”

Gabe rounded one of the monster-sized lava rocks sticking out of the sea. “I thought I heard your voices.” He looked from me to Jasper, and back again. “Everything all right?”

I hugged myself against the prickling cold spreading over my skin. “Peachy.”

“Ziggy found a particularly interesting brain coral. You should see,” Gabe said.

“I can’t wait,” I said.

Whatever it was I was feeling, I didn’t like it. I couldn’t swim away from Jasper fast enough.

SEVENTEEN

JASPER

One lapse in judgment could cost me my most important relationship. There was only one woman on the planet who was off-limits, one person I needed to keep my hands off of. And I’d kissed her.

How could I have been so stupid?

First my legs turned to lead in the water. The heaviness spread up into my stomach, turning my guts to stone. My heart pounded erratically, each beat a drum of confusion and regret.

As I watched Esme swim back toward the group, I was trapped, weighted in place. My best friend’s attention lingered on me. I could feel the sharpness of his assessment like a rusty screw digging into my forehead.

My expression betrayed nothing. I knew this, because it was the easiest thing to slip on a mask of contentment. It was second nature, even more so when the world around me crumbled to pieces.

Gabriel’s expression sharpened. “What did you do?”

I kissed your sister.I could still taste her strawberry lip gloss on my tongue. The heat of her left my nerves buzzing, no matter how wrong I knew that was.

“What do you mean?” I said, my tone light. Pretending was something I’d practiced my entire life, but never with Gabriel. He was the one person I’d always told the truth to. He’d made it easy from the first time we’d met.

“Esme’s expression was tight. I heard you arguing.” A line formed between his brows. “What happened?”

“Everything’s fine,” I said, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. If only I could turn back time, take back my mistake.

“Jasper.” He said my name with concern, even a touch of frustration.

I needed to fix it. “I bumped my head into hers. It was an accident.”

The lie burned like acid in my throat, and worse in my heart. If the ocean ate me alive, I’d deserve it.

It wasn’t exactly a lie. Putting a positive spin on disasters was an important life skill.

Somehow, these self-reassurances didn’t make me feel any better.