Page 116 of Forking the Billionaire

“I only found out last night,” I said.

“Say I believe you, that you didn’t put it together that the same party I was talking about was one you attended. Say I believe you only just found out that you were the one guy I’d tried to do casual with, and you found out last night.”

I nodded, because that was the truth.

“When you found out last night, you didn’t tell me. How long were you going to wait before you let me in on the secret? You could have said something then. You could have said it this morning or any time throughout the day. You found out that you knocked me up, then you planned to run away, back to Epiphany without a single word, Jasper. If you hadn’t thought I was bleeding, would you have ever told me at all?”

“I don’t…I needed time to process.”

I wasn’t saying this right. Everything I was doing was wrong, yet I couldn’t seem to fix it.

“Youneed time to process?” A flush of red carried up her neck and over her ears. “What about me?”

I didn’t have a good answer to that. Of course she deserved to know. I’d gathered the courage by the bonfire. I’d been about to share everything with her, before I saw what I’d thought was blood.

“I should have seen this coming. I should have known better. Never trust The Disaster. It’s like when I made you the bracelet.”

I remembered the pink friendship bracelet she’d made for me out of little rubber bands. But that was a fond memory forme, not a bad one. I didn’t understand how that connected to what was happening now.

She huffed. “You came over and I gave you the bracelet and you saw that I’d accidentally bent the wing on Gabe’s drone, because you can’t leave that kind of thing and not expect your little sister to touch it.”

“I remember the drone,” I said.

“And you helped me try to bend it back, but I broke the whole wing off. And you promised to help me get it replaced. You promised it would be all right, because you were on my team, and I believed you.”

I didn’t specifically remember that part, but that’s how memories went with Esme.

“And then two days later, when Gabe saw what happened you just stood there as he yelled at me,” she said. “He asked you if my story about not touching it was true, and you shrugged. You said nothing.”

“I don’t remember that,” I said.

“You promised,” she said. “That’s when you became Jasper The Disaster to me, when I knew you weren’t really my friend anymore. You were Gabe’s. And that was that.”

I had no idea I’d hurt her so badly when we were kids. I didn’t even know what to say about it, now, as I barely remembered the events to begin with.

“You said nothing, just like now,” she said. “You should have told me that you were the astronaut.”

Yes.

But I’d never done relationships before. I was learning, and trying, and I wanted to do everything right with her. I couldn’t say the words last night, even though I should have. I’d hoped she’d understand.

My father had taught me that marriage was a tax write-off, that monogamy wasn’t real, and that being a dad meantacknowledging his spawn whenever it suited him. I hadn’t wanted to pass any of those toxic lessons on to a kid of my own.

I’d wanted to spare the future from any more Carringtons.

I’d wanted to spare Esme the hurt.

And now I needed to explain all of that, in a way that put her mind at ease, in a way that made her understand.

“Esme, I never wanted kids,” I said.

She flinched.

It felt like a dagger to my heart. My words were hurting her. This was exactly what I’d feared, what I knew would happen.

I needed to stop. Instead, I rose to my feet and reached for her, because selfishly I craved the comfort of her touch.

She recoiled.

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