Page 57 of The Masks She Wore

?I gasped for breath, my mouth opening and closing, no air, no sound, escaping. It was different. My brain was fogging, so I couldn’t come up with a rational reason why this was so much different than what the man had done, but it was. Something about it was different. It had to be different. It had to be or what did that make me? A hypocrite? A psychopath? Pathological?

?Tears slipped down my cheeks as spots danced in front of my eyes. Was I going to die? Was I going to die in my apartment while the captain was on his way here? By the hands of a man I didn’t even know eight months ago.

?I didn’t want to die. “Please,” I begged, my nails digging into his arm.

?He sneered, looking from my eyes to my lips and back. “Such a slut for everyone else in this city, and you’re blind to what’s right in front of you.”

?My limbs were losing strength, my knees weak. I couldn’t think. The world was going fuzzy, and I couldn’t think. This was wrong. Everything about this was wrong.

?He jerked me forward again and pressed his mouth against mine, forcing his tongue through my parted lips.

?He tasted like radishes.

?Why did he taste like radishes?

?I had always been partial to radishes, but now? Now I think I would hate them forever. I didn’t think I would ever eat one again,not for as long as I lived.

?He shoved me against the bookcases, knocking down some of my knickknacks and picture frames as he forced his leg between mine.

?I was losing consciousness. I couldn’t fight.

?I didn’t want this. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want this.

?I pulled my head away, pain shooting down my spine. “St…0p,” I gasped. “Please.” I tried to kick my legs, but everything felt too heavy.

?He shoved his hand down my pants, between my legs, finding my secret.

?He pushed me into the bookshelf again, finding my eyes, his fingers teasing my cunt. “Fuck, this gets you wet? You’re a real fucking slut, you know that?”

?The weakness spread throughout my body, my hands falling to my sides. He was going to rape me and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing at all.

?I hated this. I hated myself for reacting this way. I hated the masked man for giving me everything I wanted, leaving me wanting more. I hated mom for dying. For having a secret life. I hated the captain for being fucking late, although Oliver never said when he’d be here. I hated God. I never even truly believed in him, and I hated him so goddamn much. I hated him more than anything else in the world.

?He said something that sounded garbled and far away before kissing me again, sliding his fingers inside of me, loosening his gripjust enough to force me to remain conscious.

?He worked his fingers inside of me, finding that spot I wish never existed, flicking it and rubbing it quickly.

?My body shuddered, feeling the orgasm grow as he finger-fucked me, his tongue sliding across mine.

?“Don’t, please,”I begged myself, but my mind and body had disconnected. I was already worked up, already on the verge of—

?My cunt clamped down around his fingers as I came on him, a wave of shame and horror washing over me.

?He pulled his fingers out and leaned back, looking at me with an egotistical smile, as if he had done something special. As if he had won.

?My body was a slut for this and now I was sure that anyone who took away my air and forced themselves on me would get the same reaction and I fuckinghated myselffor it. He fucking raped me, and I came. So what? So if the captain forces himself on me in an hour, would I cum again? Was that all it took? A little force?

?Fuck!

?What the fuck was wrong with me? What the actualfuckwas wrong with me!?

?“See you around, sis. Don’t ignore my call again or you’ll force my hand.” He shoved me away, causing me to tumble back, falling to the floor, my back hitting the edge of the bookcase, scraping up my spine as I fell to my knees.

?I coughed, gasping for air, tears springing to my eyes as I instinctively reached back to touch my spine, only to hiss at the tenderness. It hurt so goddamn bad. It hurt so bad I had to swallow back the grunts threatening to escape my lips, but it didn’t hurt worse than the absolute shame that coated my skin.

?I watched after him until the door shut behind him before a sob cracked through me.

?I reached back again, touching my spine gently, hissing at the pain. Another sob broke through me, followed quickly by a gag.

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