Page 23 of The Masks She Wore

?I wanted them to praise me while they did it, choke me, slap me, tie me up and tell me that I could take it all if I just believed hard enough.

?My breathing picked up as my hand slid up my stomach and over my breast, squeezing tightly.

?I wanted someone to need me so much, they took me wherever and whenever they wanted. I wanted them to need me so much, they couldn’t go even a minute without being inside of me.

?A whimper escaped me as my other hand drifted between my legs at the thought of someone wrapping their hand around my throat as their other hand ripped my skirt up, tore my panties to the side, and shoved their cock—

?My phone started ringing again, ripping me from my own fantasy.

?I snarled, jumped up from the bed, snatched my phone up and put it to my ear. “What thefuckdo you want?” I bit.

?There was a pause. “Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to get ready for the carnival together,” Viv started evenly, “but now I’m wondering if maybe I just interrupted you in the middle of climaxing.”

?I released a guilt-ridden sigh only to stop and straighten. “Are you in my house right now?”

?Viv laughed. “No, but I’m glad my investigative skills are still up to snuff. Rae, why didn’t you put your phone on silent before you started? That’s an unspoken rule, you know that.”

?I fell into my bed with a groan. “Because I’m a slut for self-destruction,” I moaned.

?I covered my face and rolled my eyes. “Let yourself in, I’ll be in the shower.” Even Viv knew the rules, and she was as vanilla as they came.God.

?“If you need help, just let me know,” she replied cheekily.

?I laughed. “I just might take you up on that offer.” I bit my lip, my heart picking up at the thought. Viv wasbeautiful. And I didn’t consider myself gay or even bisexual, but I would admit that I was curious and in desperate need of a good release.

?I liked being fingered, and I had never been fingered by a girl. She would know exactly what to do, I was sure of it. It wouldn’t take her long.

?But at her laugh, I shook the thoughts away. Fuck, I was too thirsty. “Girl, you need some cock.”

?I smiled, my face burning red. What was wrong with me? “Don’t remind me. See you in a bit, help yourself to the fridge.” She was right though.

?“Thanks.”

?I hung up and tossed my phone to the bed.

?The shower I took was long and cold. I needed to drown this out.Maybe I just wasn’t putting myself out there enough.

?It wasn’t like Ineededa guy. I could take care of myself just fine in every aspect of my life.

?Maybe it was me. Maybe I was beingtoonice. Maybe I was actingtoohappy. Nobody liked happy all the time, but I couldn’t allow myself to feel anything else or I’d break, so changing that wasn’t an option.

?I needed a challenge. A high. I needed some ghost to sneak into my shower right now and rail me with their cold, evil hands.

?I shivered and shook my head. “Fuck, Rae, focus.”

?Today and tomorrow were going to both be late nights. Which I didn’t entirely mind because I hadn’t gotten a full night’s sleep in as long as I could remember. I had nightmares every night, most of which I couldn’t remember, sometimes images did slip through, but none of them made any sense.

?I had learned to live with it, the lack of sleep. It didn’t affect my everyday living, not as much as my libido did, but still, some days were harder than others.

?Maybe I should go see someone about that. Was it even natural?

?I shook the thoughts away. No. I wanted to put all negative thoughts aside. Tonight was the carnival and tomorrow there was a masquerade. A lot of prominent people in this city would be there, and I had gotten the invitation weeks ago.

?I hadn’t truly decided if I wanted to go or not, but I still hadmom’s mask from last year’s event. I had never gone before, but with mom now being dead, the invitation defaulted to me.

?I wasn’t sure what it was meant for. Catching up with people? Sales? Art? Whatever, but maybe I would go. Maybe I could meet some people who either knew about my mom or someone I could take home.

?After a long shower, I got out and Viv and I started getting ready for the carnival.

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