Page 152 of The Masks She Wore

?I never realized before how much she drank in such a short amount of time. All of those nights we went to the club, how long had we actually stayed? It always felt like so long dancing and drinking, but maybe this is what it had always been. An hour going hard and then regretting every second in the morning.

?“I bet that guy had a huge cock.”

?I offered a small smile and turned back to the road. “He seemed to really like you.”

?“No,” she snorted. “The guy from the bar who was clearly into you. Too bad you got that ring,” she mumbled, glancing to my left hand. “He would have been a great lay.”

?“You have no idea.”

?“Yeah, well, call me faithful.” I glanced over, taking her in, my heart picking up. God, why was I taking advice from Azrael? Jack was right, he was certifiably psychotic. How did Malachi even handle him on a daily basis? My mom never would have allowed us to work with someone like him. Too unpredictable, too unreliable. He may be good but being chaotic like that only got you so far before you inevitably got yourself caught.

?Even so, his advice seemed partially sound. Sound enough.

?I turned back to the road. “Can I ask you a question?”

?“Sure,” she said, falling back in her seat, “But I can’t promise a good answer. I amtrashed.”

?I laughed easily. “That’s okay.” I shouldn’t have felt nervous. I really shouldn’t, but I guess I could only be deprogrammed so much. I wondered if I would ever fully be ‘Charlotte Alascer’ again.

?I adjusted the grip on my steering wheel and released a breath. I couldn’t think about that. I would never be that girl again, but I would never be the Rae Bennett Jack met either. I had to be something new. Something unknown to even me at this point. “Why did you insert yourself into my life, Beth?” I asked evenly, allowing enough warmth into my words to hopefully keep her willing to answer the questions.

?She was quiet so long that I had to look over to make sure she hadn’t passed out yet. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was the death of her parents that had caused this. The drinking, the partying. She had no one left in the world, that alone could drive a person into madness.

?She only stared out the window, her blinks heavy, her lips parted. What was going through her head? Was anything? Had I waited too long to talk to her?

?She swallowed and her eyes fell to her hands. “When did you find out?” she finally asked, her voice thick.

?My heart skipped a beat. “Part way through January,” I answered, shivering when I remembered the week and a half I had spent in the basement of the cathedral. “I tried to deprogram myself.”

?She looked out the window, picking at her nails. “I should have told you,” she finally said, “but I wasn’t sure how deep it went. It was your mom who taught me that there are layers to programming. Failsafes to ensure that the programming remains. I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t risk losing you too.”

?My brows pulled together at her confession, and I looked over. “You…you weren’t involved?”

?She looked over, her eyes filled with hurt, red with tears. “No. I ran into you one day one the street and you started talking about High School. It was as if he couldn’t erase me from your mind, so he replaced it with something else. Viv was the name he gave me, so I had to keep it. You started going on about your mom and your half-brother. I knew something was wrong so I played along until I could put the pieces together. It didn’t take me long to figure out what had happened.”

?Viv shrugged and turned back to her window. “I adapted, just like I was taught.”

?I watched her for a long time before turning back to the windshield just as I turned onto her street. “You were trying to protect me,” I whispered to myself. Of course. Wehadbeen friends. In this kind of world, there weren’t many people you could keep as a real friend. Beth had been it for me. Our friendship had been real. Of course it had. I felt ashamed for doubting it, but in a world like this? People turned every single day. Beth had lost her parents, us, as far as she knew. She could have gone the other way, joined my dad, his bosses, if she wanted another family, but she stayed because she was loyal. Because she cared.

?“That’s what we do in this world,” she said with a shrug. “We protect each other.”

?I adjusted my grip on the wheel, my throat closing from emotion. “Did you find anything out?” Fuck. I messed up.

?Her head fell against the window with a thunk. “Just that your dad killed my parents and then decided to play with you. He’s a bad man. I can’t believe Marla never saw it. That none of us did.”

?Yeah, I was starting to wonder how we were all so goddamn blind. “I didn’t know he killed your parents. I am so sorry.”

?She shrugged. “It happened a long time ago.”

?Still, she had trusted my family and we betrayed her. He did.

?Had he always been like this? So…evil? Or had something changed. It couldn’t have all been because of the affair, it had to be something else. Something deeper. Maybe his new bosses had showed him how good it felt to draw blood. Maybe he had always been capable of it. Weak willed, willing to follow whoever seemed the strongest.

?I pulled up in front of her house and shut off the car. “I’m going to fix this, Beth, I promise. I’ll fix this.”

?She smiled softly, her eyes closed. “That’s what you are, Char, you’re a fixer.”

?Seconds later, she was snoring.

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