“What about you? You didn’t?—”

“Nah. I’m good.”

“Dev.”

I ignored the confusion in his tone, the hurt. “Good night, Tully.”

His silence battered me as I walked away, feeling like the worst kind of asshole on the planet. But he was too tempting, and I was too mixed up in my head to stay with him, skin-on-skin and vulnerable. Surely, he’d be able to feel from my touch, from the noises I made, just how much I wanted him and just how much I’d be willing to sacrifice for more time with him.

But it would be like pouring oil on an already slippery slope.

I quickly hid myself in my bed, trying my hardest to ignore the sounds of him eventually sneaking past me to visit the bathroom and returning to the living room a few minutes later. After what seemed like hours of tossing and turning—silently, so as not to wake the sleeping toddler in her crib—I finally couldn’t stand it.

I made my way to the bathroom and locked the door. My cock hadn’t been able to stop replaying the taste and feel of Tully in my mouth, the sounds he made, and the salty-sweet scent of his skin. I grabbed the body lotion on the counter and shoved down my boxer briefs. The sound of my fist shuttling over my slick cock was obscene and desperate. My cheeks burned with embarrassment, but I came to the image of Tully on his back for me.

After, I cleaned up quickly and snuck back to my bed. Sleep came easy after that, and morning came way too soon.

Once again, I snuck out, only this time, it was for ranch chores. Thankfully, Indigo was already up and mucking stalls, cheerfully humming along to music only he could hear.

I got to work checking and feeding the pregnant mares first. Then I moved to the other horses in the barn who needed special care. Indigo periodically asked questions, but he seemed to follow directions well enough, seeing to the regular ranch horses out in the near paddock.

Things would most likely go back to being awkward between Tully and me after last night, but maybe that was for the best. It was getting harder and harder to keep my physical and emotional distance from him, and I needed to. He was going to head back to Texas and his career sometime soon.

One night this week while making dinner, we’d had a conversation about his job at the firm and how hard he worked. The passion in his voice when he’d spoken about the intellectual challenges of structuring large estates had been palpable. There’d even been a point during which I’d almost wished I was back living in Texas, just so I could hire him to manage my legal business.

That was ridiculous, of course. I wouldn’t move back to Texas for all the money in the world—not that I needed money. Being so close to my parents geographically would make their absence in my life unavoidable. And if I already felt their blame and disapproval from this far away, I couldn’t imagine how suffocating it would be if I was back in Dallas.

Not that Tully would want me there anyway. He was more likely to join my parents in shunning me.

As I worked, I let the thoughts and feelings hit me without trying to dismiss or brush them off. My friends had forced me into therapy after Matt died, and I’d learned the best way to getthrough grief and pain was to let the emotions come, but I had to admit I didn’t always feel capable of it.

It might work… but it was sure-as-shit uncomfortable.

After finishing my chores, I told Indigo I was heading to the main ranch house for a bit to talk to Silas before coming back to help feed the rest of the stock. It was early enough that Lellie was probably still asleep, but I knew Way and Silas would be up.

I took the utility vehicle down the dirt track to their place, imagining the thousands of times Fletchers had traveled the same path between home and the main barn. When I arrived, Way and Silas were on the front porch drinking coffee.

Silas took one look at me and turned to whisper something in Way’s ear. Way nodded, waved to me, and headed inside.

“You didn’t have to send him away,” I said after joining him on the porch.

He ignored my comment. “You want coffee?”

I raised my travel mug. “Just refilled it before coming over.”

“You finally going to explain what’s going on with the hottie?”

I kept my eyes trained across the land I’d just driven over. The large bulk of the old barn was visible through a stand of trees in the distance. “We hooked up.”

“Last night?”

“No, I mean…” I realized that was a lie. “Well, yes. That, too.”

Silas quirked an eyebrow.

I took a sip of coffee and savored the flavor before swallowing. “Two years ago. When I was in town to help Katie get pregnant. She had a party. He was there. We hooked up.”

Silas nodded. “Okay. Is it making things awkward? Is that the problem?”