Page 79 of The Forever Game

“I know, right?” Casey crouches down in front of me, lightly cupping her head. “When they put her in my arms before, I was freaking out that I’d break her or something. Billy was huge when he finally popped out, and even though Troy was smaller, he grew fast, you know?”

“That’s because he needed feeding every twenty minutes.” I give him a wry look.

Casey softly chuckles, then shakes his head. “Can you imagine what he’s going to be like as a teenager?”

I let out a mock groan, then softly laugh, picturing my boys as strapping teens and hoping they turn out as kindhearted as their father.

“I get why you were scared when you found out you were pregnant again.” His voice turns serious, his face filled with sweet compassion as he looks up at me. “But you are seriously the best mom. You’re kind and fun and loving. I know the boys drive you crazy sometimes, but you’re so good with them. You have the patience of a saint, and I wouldn’t want to do this parenting thing with anybody else.” His lips twitch. “Sometimes I feel like I should apologize that I keep accidentally impregnating you.”

I snort and shake my head. It’s not just his fault. We’re too spontaneous and reckless sometimes. Lyla was conceived through a heated moment of passion, and while there may have been a condom involved, it was probably shoved on haphazardly in our rush to get on with it.

“The truth is, though… I’m not sorry. I love having babies with you. I love making them. I love watching your body change and grow this little human. And I love seeing our family get bigger. I love how chaotic and fun and crazy our house is. Getting home to you guys is the highlight of every day, and whenever I’m away, I miss you like crazy. I can’t wait for everyone to be old enough so you can travel with me more. I love our family, Caroline. I love being a parent with you.” His face is so sincere, his gaze so sweet.

I brush my hand down his cheek, the pads of my fingers playing with his whiskers as I finally admit, “I love being a parent with you too. Even when it’s hard, I wouldn’t change it.”

Lyla makes a sweet little guzzling noise, her arm flailing against my chest. I lightly take her hand again, kissing her soft, sweet skin and watching her feed.

I’m so blessed that it makes my heart hurt, and for some reason, my thoughts fly to Rachel. Sweet Ray, who was so kind to me as we rushed to the hospital. All the animosity was set aside as she made sure I was okay.

Sweet Ray who would be such an amazing mother but can’t have kids.

My heart aches for her, and I want to call her, let her know how much I love and appreciate her. Apologize for leaving things after her outburst. I should have called her a few days later to check in, find out if she was okay, but I ghosted her.

She didn’t yell at me that day because of something I did. She was hurting, and I’ve been a shitty friend. I let this bitterness between us grow, and I’m better than that.

As soon as the new day dawns, I’m calling her. We have to mend what’s broken between us. And I have to find out the best way to move forward with our current situation.

Closing my eyes, I start quietly praying that there’s a woman out there who needs a mother for her child, because I know Rachel would be freaking amazing.

CHAPTER30

RACHEL

I thread my fingers together, then unthread them, smoothing out my floral pattern dress, then crossing my legs before unfolding them again.

Liam glances at me, softly laughing to himself as I continue to fidget. His large hand lands on mine, giving them a light squeeze.

“It’s going to be okay,” he reminds me yet again.

“What if they don’t like me?”

“That’s impossible.” Liam shakes his head. “You’re the most likable person I know.”

I wrinkle my nose at him. “You have to say that. You’re my husband.”

“I’m your husband because I believe it. You think I’d marry someone I didn’t like?”

A soft snort pops out of me and I shake my head, gazing out the window as we drive through town. The social worker called this morning to let us know that we’d been approved to foster these two children. We were allowed to come and collect them as soon as we were able. We took one long look at each other, then dropped everything, rushing to gather our things and get out the door.

As soon as Liam told me the idea of fostering these two children, my mind went into nesting mode. I spent the entire day on Sunday shopping and gathering supplies. The pool house is set up for two young kids, and I spent a near fortune making sure they had the best of everything. I got a new bed for each of them, toys and clothes. They’ll probably come with their own stuff, but I lost my mind and suddenly had to prepare for every scenario.

Liam got home from work and blinked at the transformed pool house, then gave me one of his sweet smiles. “You know it’s not definite, right?” He winced.

“I know.” My head bobbed erratically. “And if they say no, I’ll bawl my eyes out, then pack this stuff away, and it’ll be good to go for the next time.”

He picked his way across the room and pulled me into his arms. I rested my chin on his shoulder as his hands splayed across my back. “Te amo, mujer hermosa.”

I clung to him, then kissed his lips, and he carried me to our bedroom, where we lost ourselves in each other, drawing comfort from our lovemaking. It was just the distraction I needed as we waited for that phone call.

---