Page 11 of Sins & Paradise

"I can't leave you out here," he says as he turns back in my direction.

"You have no responsibilities to me. I'm sorry I ran off like that, but I promise you I'm fine."

"The fact that you ran off like that only proves that you're not fine. What are you running away from?" Lobo glares at me, but I keep my mouth shut. There are some things that I'd rather not share with anyone. The less people know about Miguel, the better.

When I don't answer him for a few moments, he huffs out another breath and puts his hand out.

I'm not sure what he wants. I look from his face to his hand, then back to his face. "What?"

"Come on."

"No."

"Look, either I sleep out here with you, or you come with me, and I find you a room or something for you to sleep indoors. I'm not going to leave you on your own. If you don't want to tell me what the problem is, fine, but don't expect me to turn a blind eye to this." Lobo's words are meant to comfort, I assume, but his tone makes me believe that he is fighting against something deep within himself.

"Let's go." He says again, but I still don't move.

"Don't make me throw you over my shoulder." He takes a step in my direction, and I jerk back hard.

He raises his hands again to show me he's not a threat. I hate that I have such a deep mistrust for people now. I've never been like that before.

"Remember what I said? I'm not going to hurt you. Please just let me help you. Please?" He softens his voice, and I close my eyes, trying to decide what to do.

Every night that I've laid my head down out here in the wilderness, I've prayed to God that he would send me some relief. Is this man the answer to my prayers? Is this gruff and somewhat rude man the response I've been waiting for?

I nod my head and take a step in his direction. He drops his hands and turns on his heel, waiting for me to follow behind. I do my best not to get too close in case it turns out he's really out here doing Miguel's bidding and I need to get away fast once again.

We walk in silence for a while. We pass the bakery and the road that leads down to the compound the woman Coca was telling me about.

"I thought you were taking me to your clubhouse?" I ask when we don't turn down the road.

"I would, but it's not finished yet. There's a small inn not too far from here that most of us have been staying at. I can check to see if they have any open rooms for you," Lobo replies.

"Okay, I appreciate it," I whisper in reply. I should be on my hands and knees kissing the ground this man walks on. It's been so long since someone has shown me any kindness. It’s not that the nuns back at school weren’t kind, but they were more rigid in their teachings.

"How long have you been sleeping outside?" Lobo asks as we continue to walk down the road.

"Not very long. Just a few weeks."

"A few weeks? That's too long." He scoffs and shoves his hands in his pockets. "Are you going to tell me what you're running from that would have you willing to sleep outside?"

I sigh and glance up to the sky for strength. "It's better if I don't. After all, my tormentors are not yours to fight."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Lobo squints in my direction.

"It means my cross isn't yours to bear."

"Cross? It's been a while since I've heard anyone speak like that."

"I take it someone like you isn't very religious?"

That pulls Lobo to a stop, and he turns to stare at me. “Someone like me? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You thinkbecause I'm wearing a vest and have tattoos I can't believe in God?”

I've never felt more ashamed of my judgmental nature than I do right now. "No, no, no, that's not what I meant. Of course you can believe. Faith is free to everyone. I shouldn't be so critical. I shouldn't have said that." I quickly apologize, and Lobo shakes his head before he continues walking me down the long road.

It's getting later, and the little bit of light that I was getting from the setting sun is long gone.

I'm really giving this man more than just the benefit of the doubt right now. If he were to try to do something to me, it's not like I could stop him. He's so much bigger than me.

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