Page 29 of Love Takes Home

It takes me a minute to fully understand that Joker,Joker, is kissing me and his body is absolutely having a reaction to it. And then I pull back, pushing against his chest with my hands until he lets me go, which happens immediately.

“What…what was that?” I ask him, still stunned, my body buzzing from his touch.

“Something I’ve wanted to do for over two fucking years.”

“But, why?”

“Because—”

“No. I need you to never do that again.”

“What?”

“Kiss me like that. You came in here to bitch me out for not telling you that Keith was abusing me and the first thing you do is kiss me. Without my consent. Guess what? I didn’t consent for him to abuse me. I didn’t consent for him to touch me like he did. And I didn’t consent for you to kiss me in this bathroom. The next time you do that, you better have my fucking permission.”

“Ginny. I didn’t realize. God, I’m so sorry.” The look on his face almost makes me crack. The pain in his features. My heart hurts.

“I need you to leave, Joker. Turn around and walk out that door. I need a minute before I go back to my friends and act like everything is fucking fine with my life, okay?”

“I’m so fucking sorry.” His voice is raw with emotion.

“I know. I know you’re sorry. And I’ll forgive you, but I need you to walk away right now.”

“Okay, Beautiful. Please know how sorry I am. I never…I never want to hurt you, Ginny.” He steps back, his face drawn, and I can only imagine it matches the sadness mine must show. He gives me one more lingering look before pulling the door open. As he turns away from me, he leaves with the words that give me something I haven’t had in a long time. Hope. “I’ll get that consent one day, Virginia. No matter what I have to do, I swearI’ll get it. I’m so fucking sorry that that’s going to be your first memory of me touching you. I’ll do whatever it takes to replace it with something even better.”

The tears finally fall as he leaves the bathroom and I sag against the wall. Not sure what to do, I allow myself a couple of minutes to cry because I just told off the hottest man I’ve ever known in my life. I just yelled at him for kissing me and fulfilling a fantasy that I’ve had for two and a half years but refused to acknowledge.

I clean my face and compose myself and go back to the girls still at the tables. Joker sits at the bar with a whiskey glass in his hand. He looks up and makes eye contact with me and the pain in his eyes kills me. I don’t know how to fix it, or if it’s even up to me to fix.

I sit down at the table, but the happiness of being with my friends is no longer there. I think I just fucked up something that could’ve been something wonderful. Because I wasn’t prepared for him to do that. And how did I react? By telling him toneverdo that again. What if he actually listens and decides it’s not worth it? What have I just done?

Chapter 10

Joker

Saturday

Joker: Ginny. I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?

Sunday

Joker: Can we talk?

Joker: Beautiful, can you please call me back?

Monday

Joker: Will you at least let me know you’re okay?

Joker: It’s me again. Can we talk?

Tuesday

Joker: I don’t know what to say,

Joker: I don’t know what came over me.

Wednesday

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