Page 117 of Love Takes Home

“I promise I’ll try not to yell at you while you’re in the hospital.” She grins.

“I think that’s probably fair,” I agree.

“So, I think tonight we need to focus on what happened earlier today and how you’re doing.”

“Just jumping right on into that therapy session then, aren’t we?”

“You’ve been to therapy before. I mean, I’m sure your therapist wasn’t as wonderful a human as I am, but it also means you know how it goes. I ask a question, you answer, and we go from there. Or we can not talk about anything and I can just be your friend.”

“Can we do both?” I ask.

“Sure. I’ve been known to be strictly a friend before.”

I laugh. “You’re really bad at not being a therapist, you know that?”

“What can I say? I’m worried about you and have my brain shrinker hat on.”

“I really do appreciate the honesty. And if I knew how I was feeling after today, I’d tell you for sure, but the only thing I can think of is how people are going to call me a serial killer now. That happens when you’ve got more than one dead body on your hands, right?”

“Is there guilt?” she asks gently, ignoring the killer part.

“No. That’s part of the problem. I feel guilty that Lucas got hurt.” I look at Trish. “I feel guilty that Lottie and Nat could have been hurt, or Elle. But I have no guilt over that weirdo or Keith. With Keith, I almost feel relief. He will never hurt me again. He will never hit me, or raise his voice, or make me feel less than. He will never hurt the people I love, and he won’t ever be able to hurt any more students.”

“What you said earlier about the kids was really generous of you. You lost something really special, didn’t you?”

“I lost my cello. Not my life. This is going to ruin these kids’ futures. And if I can keep at least that off their record, it might help.”

“Can I ask what the cello meant to you?”

I share a look with Trish. She might be the only one who realizes how much it hurt that it’s been destroyed.

“It meant everything.” I give her a sad smile. “My dad gave it to me as a gift.”

“Tell her all of it,” Trish pushes.

I sigh. “He gave it to me before my first professional performance. I was twelve and had just grown three inches. I went from a three-quarter size to a full-size and needed a new one. The orchestra I was playing with was going to let me use one of theirs for the performance, but Dad showed up with the Eastman. It was a huge step up in quality from what I had. I’ve carried it with me everywhere since.”

“Wow.” Claire blows out a breath. “That’s a hard loss.”

“It hurts,” I admit. “But at the end of the day, it’s a thing.”

“How do you feel about people?”

“I don’t know. It depends on the people, I guess?”

“Explain that.”

“My friends and my family are my world. My students. I learned a long time ago that not everyone cares about you or loves you as much as you might love them. But my people? I know they love me.”

“Is that why you hid the extent of what happened to you in New York?”

“How do you know what happened?”

“I told her. When I found out I was pregnant.” Trish comes over to the bed to hold my hand. “I was so worried that you would be upset that I was afraid to tell you. I didn’t want to break your heart again.”

“She reached out to me and I told her to suck it up and tell you.” Claire smiles at me, making me laugh.

“Good thing, too. I’d have been really mad at you for keeping that secret.”

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