Page 50 of Love Finds Home

“J, can you just talk to me for a little while? I don’t want to be alone right now, and your voice is helping.”

“You know, you could go find that hot man with all the ink and stay with him.”

“Can’t. I think we’re back to avoiding each other again.”

“How old are you? Aren’t you two grown enough to not play these games?”

“I guess not. Maybe that hits at forty?”

“Watch yourself. He’s only got a few more years until then.”

“How do you know?”

“You think I didn’t do my research on the man my girl is making googly eyes at?”

“I don’t want to know. If he has something he thinks I should know about him, I want him to tell me.”

“Then ask.”

“What do I ask?”

“I don’t know. Tell the man you want his dick. Be direct.”

I don’t reply fast enough for Jorge, and he catches it.

“Elle?”

“What if I want more than just his dick?”

“Finally!”

“I can hear you clapping your hands through the phone,” I deadpan.

“I’m just so proud. Owning up to your feelings is a big thing for you.”

“It’s not about admitting that I might like the guy, J. It’s that I can’t get a read on him at all. I don’t know if he likes me. I don’t know if he hates me. I don’t know if he even enjoys sex with me. I. Don’t. Know. Anything.”

“Talk to the man.”

“I’ve tried. What do you do when the man you can’t get out of your head won’t even acknowledge you’re in the same room with him?”

Jorge gets really quiet while he figures out how to answer. “I don’t know, baby girl. But if you’re sitting around hoping he’ll get the hint, I’m telling you he won’t. Men are simple creatures, Elle. Direct is always the way to go.”

“He’s just always so angry when he’s around me.”

“Have you asked him why?”

“Not recently.”

“Then ask again. Now, turn on some fucking lights and do something productive if you’re going to spend the night all up in your head.”

“How do you know I’m sitting in the dark?”

“Because when your thoughts go crazy, or you’re worried about something, or you can’t solve the problem in front of you, you sit in the dark. I’d put money on it that you’re sitting on your ass with your back to the door because you were freaked out and you called me before you even turned a light on.”

“I don’t like you very much right now,”

“You love me very much all the time. And you’re going to listen to me. I want you to get up and turn the light on. Put on your comfy pair of sweats that I know you grabbed when you were home, turn the light on, get your paint out, and put a fresh canvas up, and paint your fucking emotions. That’s what you excel at. Put all the questions and feelings on canvas, baby girl. Make yourself famous.”

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