Page 47 of Love Finds Home

“We all have that regret,” I tell him. “You are coming to the wedding, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. I didn’t have any of my own kids, just the nephews like Sammy here.” He reaches over and messes Sam’s hair up to laughter from the group. “But Patty Cake was my girl. She got the raw end of a lot of sticks, and we’re making up for lost time now. I might not be her blood relation, but she’s as much family to me as anyone else.”

Sam smiles at his uncle, having heard the stories by now.

“And this one is thinking about leaving the nest.” Preacher bumps Sam’s shoulder with his.

“What?” Joker perks up.

“There’s an opening for a junior detective down here. Your boss recommended me to the new Chief and we’ve been talking.”

“Nope.” Joker speaks up, but there’s a smile on his face. “I don’t like it, I just got you broke in.”

Sam laughs, shaking his head. “Sorry man, guess you’ll just have to start doing things by the book.”

Joker scoffs, like he’s offended. “I do everything by the book. It’s all perfectly legal.”

“You are so full of shit.” Sam laughs again.

“Are you really thinking about transferring?” Preacher asks him.

“I am. Boulder Canyon seems pretty clean these days, but it looks like trouble is still brewing around Briar Mountain. The college makes it an easy place to drop drugs.”

“After all the shit with the Pavlov family,” Joker adds. “It’s a fucking free for all, isn’t it?”

“Seems that way,” Sam agrees. “And it’s an opportunity to do more than write tickets and help old ladies across the street, you know?”

“As long as you remember where you came from and come back every once in a while,” Preacher tells him.

The heavy conversation seems to be over with those words, and we all break off into smaller groups. Preacher’s brother comes out to the orchard and the two of them wander off, looking at some branches. Sam and Joker talk about the drug movement up and down the range, and Davis and Tiny go back to the updates they’re getting about the dress shopping.

“What’s going on with you?” Sarge asks, sitting down next to me at the table. “You seem out of sorts.”

“Only you would see that,” I tell him.

“It’s my job. Is it a case or the girl?”

“’The Girl’.” I finger quote. “You say it like she’s a thing and not a person.”

“Fuck off with that,” he barks at me. “Youare trying to classify her as a thing, not me. Because if you see her as a person, you might start to care.”

“I do see her as a fucking person, Sarge.” I seethe.

“And yet, you’re mad at me for asking.”

“I’m mad at the assumption that I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Do you? Know what you’re doing?”

I stare at him for a long moment, debating on how to answer. With the truth, or with the same fucking lie I’ve been telling myself for weeks.

“Won’t do you any good to lie about it,” he calls me out. “I’ll know, then I’ll have to beat the shit out of you, and you’ll go home all bloody, and Rosie’ll kill me if I hurt my hand again.”

“Fine. No. Is that what you want to hear? That I have no fucking clue what I’m doing?”

He smiles, but it’s not a happy smile. “No, Ranger, it doesn’t make me feel better. One day you have to realize that your capacity to care and to love is immense and the only person who can’t see it is you.”

Before I can respond, my alert goes off, notifying me that Keith is leaving Boulder Canyon. I look up, making eye contact with Joker, who shrugs. He’s not heading this way, but toward Diamond Cove. Joker tilts his chin and pulls out his phone, calling a contact he has to keep an eye on him. Maybe he can identify the woman. Maybe he can catch him cheating, which is what Joker is hoping for.

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