Page 78 of Havoc

“That’s what master bedrooms and balconies are for.”

“All right, hang on.”

I really needed some Minnie time, so I snagged Grim’s coat off the chair and disappeared out onto the balcony. The cool night air felt good, and his scent engulfed me as I wrapped it around myself. My body tingled as it hit my brain.

“All right, where to begin?”

She helped me start. “What’s throwing you off? Is he being extra pricky?”

“No, I think he’s actually starting to see why his dad hired me. What I’m capable of. He gave me like three compliments since this trip started.”

“God, he’s such a dick,” she deadpanned, dripping with sarcasm.

“See, that’s the thing. Grim and I run on the fact that we can’t stand one another, but now he’s showing me this side of him that I-I…” I couldn’t bring myself to say what I felt.

“Is the sex still good?”

“If possible, it’s better.”

“So, the sex is like a porno, but you’re getting a better version of Grim?”

“Yes.”

“Kenna, I know we are two seriously jacked up individuals, but isn’t that a good thing?”

“Yeah, I mean, I guess.” I rubbed my head as I was flooded with conflicting emotions.

“What am I not getting, babe?”

“I’m starting to care,” I blurted and covered my mouth like I couldn’t believe what I’d just admitted. She went quiet. “I don’t want to. I’m not ready to care about someone like that again, and fuck knows Grim doesn’t feel the same way.” I just let my mouth run. “I’m scared, I’m losing control, and right now I need to be stronger than ever with everything that’s going on in my life. Like tonight at dinner, Sonny Conti showed up! That’s insane and so fucking scary that I would’ve run if Grim hadn’t been there. My brain just shifts into this place where-where?—”

“Where?”

“Where I used to go when those men first arrived at our house. It’s like this shutdown thing I do to protect myself, only now I’m an adult doing reckless things that get me deeper and deeper into trouble.”

“Kenna, take a breath, hun.”

“Then there’s Grim. We had this moment on the dance floor tonight where he kissed me and it was like all that panic and grit that lines the inside of me, it just dissipated.” My fingers went to my lips. “I don’t like all that romance shit, but when Grim held me and we kissed, I felt so…free.”

“Damn, girl,” Minnie hissed, “sounds to me like you’re falling in?—”

“I will shoot off your vagina and wear it as a bow if you even think of uttering the L word.”

“My vajayjaywouldmake an excellent head piece,” she cooed in agreement. “So, do you want the Disney answer or the bare snatch, I mean facts?”

“Bare snatch.” I hated to be coddled.

“You’re a badass chick who’s handled herself like a biker’s bitch for years.” Minnie’s tone was serious, and I appreciated the pep talk. “I don’t need to list the shit you’ve got in your life; you know all that. I will point out this, though. You’ve been dealt a shitty love life. You were played with by fucking Sasha when you were barely out of a training bra, God don’t rest his fucking soul.” She snickered and took a deep breath. “Then you’re cheated on by two men, Raymond, who’s a complete tit, then Dale, and I know you still care for him. We all love Dale, but personally, I wouldn’t toss him a wrinkled old foreskin to pull him out of the water to save his life.” I chuckled. “So that brings us to Grim Gates, a ruthless, dominating, alpha male, who’s used to having everyone do what he says. And, girlfriend, you don’t fit that mold.”

“Nope.”

“But he's also a great friend to all of us and has a big heart behind all that ink. Who knows? Maybe he’s letting you in because he likes you too.”

“Christ, I feel like I’m in high school.” I dropped my head. “Why can’t things get clearer as we get older?”

“Because we like the darker side of sex, and that shit doesn’t come with clear windows. It’s all tinted stuff.”

“Yeah.” I felt something in Grim’s breast pocket and found a joint. Trigger and Grim seemed to have an endless supply of the stuff.What the hell?I lit the tip and sucked in the sweet drug and let it swim around in my head. “Thanks, Min. I needed this.”

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