Page 42 of Lethal Game

"Most days. Sometimes, I wish I had more power to heal because it's difficult to watch people suffer. But I do everything I can."

"That's all you can do."

"I was planning to go back to work on Monday. Do you think this will be over by then?"

"Let's see what tomorrow brings."

"So, it's day by day, huh?"

He met her gaze. "I think it has to be, don't you?"

"I guess. How do you do this and stay sane? How do you have a life outside of world-changing, life-altering events?"

"I don't have a life outside of my job. It's much easier to do this work and be single. I don't have to worry about someone worrying about me. I don't have to feel bad about missing personal events, like birthdays and anniversaries. I can just focus on what needs to be done."

She frowned. "That sounds incredibly lonely."

He shrugged. "I don't have time to be lonely. I'm busy."

"What about when you're not busy, when you come homeafter work, and there's no one there?"

"It doesn't happen very often, or I'm so tired, I just want to sleep."

"That doesn't sound like a pace you can keep up forever."

"It works for me," he said, not wanting to admit that he'd been feeling a little stressed by the constant flow of cases one after the other, feeling like he was on a treadmill that he couldn't get off. But getting off this treadmill wasn't an option. He had to stop Novikov. This might be the only chance he would have. So he decided to change the subject. "What about you, Alisa? What do you do when you're not working? You said you don't have a boyfriend, but are you dating?"

"I was seeing someone for a few weeks until my mom got sick. It turned out he was great with a casual, fun relationship, but terrible with anything serious. He couldn't stand going to the hospital. The smells made him sick. After showing up once for me, I never saw him there again."

"Sounds like a loser. You deserve better than that."

"I think so, too. I texted him after I almost got kidnapped, and his response was so dismissive and uncaring that I told him we were done. I can't be with someone who is that selfish."

"I agree."

"I've always wanted a love story like the one my parents have. They've always been so happy together." Her voice faltered. "At least, I thought they were. Maybe everything was a lie."

He was sorry to see her mood turn. "That part of your father's life might not have been a lie. Your parents have been together for thirty years. That's something."

"I always thought so, but now I don't know." She yawned again. "I know I should go to bed. I just feel like once I'm alone in the quiet, everything is going to come back to me."

"I can't do anything about the nightmares, but I want you to know that you're safe here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

She gave him an emotion-filled look that made his gutclench. They were treading into dangerous territory, and he couldn’t let them go there. He cleared his throat and got to his feet. "Do you want me to walk you upstairs?"

"No. I can make it on my own," she said as she stood up. "Thank you, Jason. For everything you've done and are doing for me. I really appreciate it. You're a good guy, and I have to say, I think you might be a little too hard on yourself." She paused, giving him a look that heated the air between them. "I wish we'd met under other circumstances," she murmured. "But I probably never would have met someone like you if all this craziness wasn't happening to me."

"Probably not," he said, feeling once again pummeled by an intense desire to pull her into his arms and drive all the potential nightmares out of her head. "You really need to go upstairs, Alisa."

"So, it's not just me?"

He knew exactly what she was asking. "No. It's not just you. But I'm here to protect you, nothing else."

Her gaze filled with conflicting emotions, and he found himself holding his breath, wondering if she would push back against the wall he'd just put between them.

After a long moment, she said, "Goodnight, Jason." And then she turned and walked up the stairs.

He couldn't stop watching her until she was finally out of sight. Then he blew out a breath. This wasn't good. He couldn't let himself get caught up in her, in feelings that had no place in an investigation, in his search for Novikov. That had to be his focus, his only focus.

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