Page 47 of Tangled Up In You

"I could try."

She was definitely an optimist. "I don't really talk about it," he said slowly, realizing he was going to talk about it, and that shocked him. But he couldn't seem to resist the pleading smile in her eyes.

"All right," he said in surrender. "I was involved with Drew's older sister, Gina, when I was in my early twenties. We went out for about two years. Drew was eight, and Gina adored him. We spent a lot of time with him on the weekends. Drew and Gina's mother had a chronic illness, so Gina filled in for her mom when it came to Drew."

"I feel like this story has a bad outcome," she said quietly.

"It does." He drew in a breath. "I was different then. I was like everyone else—breaking rules, pretending I knew everything, that I was invincible because I was young. Gina was the same, even more so. She had a reckless, daring spirit, and she brought out a side in me I hadn't seen before. I was supposed to go into the police academy, but I kept putting it off, because I just wanted to spend time with her. One night, Gina and I went to a club in a bad part of town."

His mind drifted back to the night. They'd come out of the club to get some fresh air. They were a little drunk and out of control. They were kissing in the alleyway when the cars pulled up, when the shooting started. He drew in a shaky breath.

"What happened?" Molly pressed.

He looked out at the lake as the terrible images filled his head. "There was a drive-by shooting. One minute I was kissing Gina, and the next minute, she was sinking to the ground, and blood was coming out of her head. She stared at me in shock. She was frozen in that moment."

Molly's gasp drew his gaze to her.

"I'm so sorry," Molly whispered.

"I told Gina she was going to be okay. I'd get her to the hospital. She'd make it." He shook his head. "She didn't believe me. She told me to take care of Drew, to tell her parents she loved them. And she wanted me to know she loved me, too." He choked on the words, his lips drawing tightly together as he remembered her final moments. "And then she was gone." He got up from the bench and walked across the sand, his heart pounding against his chest with emotions he'd thought he'd put away a long time ago.

He stood there at the water's edge for several long minutes. When he finally turned around, Molly was standing right behind him.

"I shouldn't have pushed you to talk," she said.

"Well, you got it out of me. No more festering, ulcer-causing secret."

"I didn't know it was something so painful." She gave him a troubled look. "You blame yourself for what happened, don't you?"

"No one else to blame. And don't say Gina," he warned.

"If I was going to say anyone, I'd say it was the shooter. The person who pulled the trigger." She took a breath. "That's why you became a cop. You wanted to catch them. Did you?"

"No. But the shooter was killed about three years later by one of his friends, so he eventually paid a price. I just didn't make him pay it. I wish I had."

"Do you think it would have brought you peace?"

"I don't know," he said with a weary sigh. "I don't think there's ever peace. There's just living with it. Anyway, that's why I owe Drew, why I owe his father. I took Gina to that club. She'd be alive if I hadn't."

"It wasn't a dangerous activity, Adam."

"It was in a bad part of town. It wasn't a smart decision."

"Did she say no? Did she not want to go?"

"I told you not to blame her."

"I'm not blaming her; I'm not blaming you, either. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. You know that kind of thing happens. I'm sure you've seen other people get into situations like that."

"It doesn't change it. Everything goes back to a decision that I made. And that she made," he added, seeing the fight in Molly's eyes. "I was older than her. I knew better. I should have been protecting her, even if it was just from herself. She wanted to party, to cut loose. She was scared about her mom. She just wanted to escape, and I wanted to make her happy."

"I think she was happy. She told you she loved you. She didn't die hating you, Adam."

"She didn't have time to realize…" He shook his head. "Her family blamed me, too. Her parents wouldn't talk to me for years. But last year, when Gina's mother realized she was dying, she reached out to me. She didn't want to die with this breach between us. I didn't know if Steven was on the same page, but he talked to me for a while after the funeral. Then, a few weeks ago, he asked me to help him with Drew."

"Drew thinks you offered to take him in because his dad put pressure on you."

"It wasn't exactly like that. There was no pressure, just a helpless request. Steven knew Drew was hurting, but he didn't know how to get close to him. He'd spent so much time taking care of his wife that he'd lost the connection with his son. He thought since I had straightened out my life that I could be some sort of example for Drew. But I don't think Drew sees it that way."

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