Page 76 of Can't Fight the Moonlight

"Which is why I should stop talking."

Despite his words, she sensed he felt a need to let out the pain. "It's your call."

"And I'm stalling, but I've come this far." He paused, gathering his thoughts. "When Sean was a junior in high school, he really got into partying. His grades plummeted. He was always cutting class. His friends were losers. I could see the downward spiral, even though he tried to keep it away from me. Somehow, he graduated from high school, I'm not sure how. After that, he went to the community college, but he wasn't into school. I think he was rebelling against our super-intelligent parents, and by then, he didn't want to be anything like them. My parents finally realized how bad things had gotten when he was arrested for a DUI. He was nineteen then, and they put him in rehab. My grandparents also came back to the States around that time. I felt like my family was finally rallying together. But it was too late. We had several decent months and then Sean OD'd. I was fourteen. He was almost twenty-one."

Pain came off Justin in waves of emotional heat. She wrapped her arms around him and held him as tightly as she could, feeling like maybe she did need to catch him, because while he wasn't crying or talking, it felt like the dam was breaking. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

He didn't say anything more for several minutes. He just held onto her with a fierce need.

The connection between them now felt even more powerful than before. They weren't just physically connected now but also emotionally. They were bound together by Justin's secret, by his trust in her, and she was deeply touched. She couldn't really understand what he'd gone through, the world he'd grown up in. It was so very, very different from her own, and she couldn't help but think how lucky she'd been to have her parents, her siblings, her big extended family. She'd won the lottery when it came to family and Justin had not.

Finally, Justin's grip on her eased and he let out a breath. When his gaze met hers, she could see that the painful shadows had receded. He shifted slightly. "Thanks. You were right. You were strong enough to catch me."

"And you were strong enough to let go. Sometimes, that's even more difficult."

He nodded. "I'm okay. Better than I thought I would be. No one in the family talks about Sean. And I haven't spoken about him to anyone in years. Only my business partner knows the story, because I met him when I was eighteen."

"And you've never told anyone else?"

He shook his head. "No. I was never even tempted. I'm actually good at hiding my feelings. That seemed to change when I got here. Somehow when you're around, I want to bare my soul. Actually, I think that's the magic of this town. Every person I've met felt free to confide in me, and it just kept blowing me away how open everyone was. But now I'm doing the same thing, spilling my guts."

She smiled. "There is magic here."

He smiled back at her. "Maybe you're the magic, Lizzie."

"I wish I had that power. What happened with you and your parents after Sean died?”

"We were so angry with each other. I blamed my parents and also my grandparents. They blamed each other and also me."

"Wait, no way. You weren't to blame. You were a kid."

"But I knew better than anyone what Sean was doing. They might have been fooled by his funny, charming, loud, gregarious behavior. He was the life of the party, and everyone thought he was happy, but I saw him when he wasn't putting on a show. I knew he was partying too hard. I should have said more. I tried to tell him I was worried about him, but he always said he had it under control."

"He was young. Everyone thinks they have it under control when they're a teenager. And you were even younger, Justin. His death was not your fault. Your parents are another story. Your grandparents, too. I'm a little disappointed in Marie and Ben."

"To their credit, when they realized there was a problem, they moved back. After Sean's stint in rehab, they insisted that both of us live with them. Of course, Sean wouldn't do it. He said he needed to be on his own, but I moved into their house. My parents were still in and out, although they were around more then, but you could tell their heart wasn't in LA or in the family. They were adrenaline junkies and hunting for cures was their drug of choice. We need people like that in the world, because they do amazing things, but they probably shouldn't have kids."

"Probably not," she agreed.

"Anyway, my grandparents saved me. After Sean died, they overwhelmed me with attention and love and caring. They were constantly watching me, constantly trying to make sure I was all right. I think they were trying to make up for all the years they weren't there. And it helped. I couldn't connect with my parents, but I had them to lean on."

"Well, that's good. I would have expected that from them."

"They definitely kept me on track, not that I wanted to follow in my brother's footsteps. He loved feeling out of control and wild. I didn't like that at all. I wanted to feel the solid ground under my feet. I wanted to know who was around me and what I was doing. I wanted to remember every second of my life."

"That's where the need for control and predictability came in."

"Yes. I didn't want any more horrible surprises. I controlled everything I could, except my parents. That would have been an impossible task, so I didn't bother. And they didn't seem to care. Whatever relationship we'd had before Sean died was shattered. It was irreparably broken. It was almost better knowing that we were done. I didn't have to keep wishing for them to be the parents they were never going to be. The worst had happened. And there was no going back or moving forward with them."

"I can't believe they didn't want to be in your life after losing Sean. It seems like it would have become more important to them, not less."

"They'd tell you they tried. They'd tell you they did their best. They'd tell you they only left again because I didn't want anything to do with them." He paused. "Maybe some of that is true, but it's still not good."

"No, it's not. I have to say, Justin, after everything you went through as a kid, you got it together as an adult. You built an amazing company. That's an accomplishment that you should be so proud of."

"I am proud of my company. It started out as a tribute to Sean. It was his dream as well as mine, and I wanted to make it happen for him."

"You did that and then some."

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