Page 4 of Critical Doubt

"I kicked Paul out three weeks ago, Savannah. He wasn't just visiting Todd that night; he was living there."

"I had no idea. I know you said you'd been having some problems since Paul came home, but I didn't realize they were that bad. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was hoping Paul and I could fix things, but he's been different since he left the army. I almost wish he'd been able to stay in, which is crazy, considering how many times I prayed for him to get out. But he wasn't the same man. He was moody and angry, jealous and paranoid."

"It sounds like he needed help."

"Which he wouldn't get. I asked him to go to counseling with me, and he refused. I said I'd be fine if he went on his own, if he was worried about me being there, but he wasn't happy with that idea, either. He was drinking from morning 'til night. He was barely coherent in the evenings. He literally passed out at the dinner table one night. He fell head-first into the mac and cheese. He scared Tyler. My little boy ran out of the room crying. I had to drag Paul into the bedroom that night. He was so out of it. And the next day he didn't remember a thing. But I remembered."

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, feeling an overwhelming wave of sympathy.

"That's when I told him he had to leave. He had to get sober and get help. I thought I was protecting Tyler, but maybe I was too harsh. Paul served his country. He was a hero. He saved lives, and I kicked him out."

"You were protecting your son."

"Or was I just protecting myself?"

"No, you were doing what you had to do for both of you. What happened after he left?"

"He seemed to get a little better. He said he would see a doctor and that he was cutting back on the alcohol. I let him visit with Tyler a few times, and it went well. I thought that staying with Todd was good, too. Because Todd was in Paul's unit. He was part of the ambush. Paul could be himself with Todd. And Todd needed the connection, too; that's why he moved here from Jacksonville two months ago. They grounded each other. They were better together."

She'd met Todd once at a birthday party, and had thought he was a good guy, a little too hyper for her, but fun to be around. "What did Todd think about Paul's behavior?"

"He was worried, too, but he kept saying Paul would work his way out of it, that he loved me and Tyler, and he'd find his way back. I wanted to believe him. But now he'll never come home."

"Oh, Abby, this is so messed up. But you are not to blame for Paul's drinking or his fall."

"I'm glad you don't think so, but I know other people do."

"That's their problem, not yours. You and Paul were the only ones in your marriage. It was between you two."

Abby stared back at her, with her heart in her eyes. "I just worry that maybe it wasn't exactly an accident. I know that's also being gossiped about. Like maybe he didn't fall—maybe he jumped."

"Is there any evidence of that? Was Todd there when Paul fell?"

"No. He was asleep. He woke up when he heard Paul land on the trash cans. He ran outside and found him. Todd said…" Abby drew in a shaky breath. "He said his neck was broken and he was dead. There was no coming back."

"Oh, God," she whispered, putting a hand to her mouth.

"I wasn't home that night. I was in Atlanta with Tyler and some friends. By the time Todd got a hold of me and I got back here, Paul's body was already in the morgue."

She was horrified at the details. "I'm so sorry, Abby."

"Everyone says I should be glad he didn't suffer, that he probably never knew what happened, but I know. I can't forget it."

"Of course you can't."

"Paul's blood alcohol was twice the legal limit. He was very drunk, Savannah. It would have been easy for him to fall."

She nodded, wishing she knew what to say.

"I better go inside, Savannah."

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"I have to be. Oh, one other thing," Abby continued. "Your cousin Josie may also show up. I know you don't talk to her, but she came back to Dobbs a few months ago, and she's in all my social female groups. We've become friends. I think she's changed since she was such a jealous bitch to you. But I hope you don't think I'm betraying you."

She was touched that Abby even had the bandwidth to worry about that. "You're not betraying me. And you don't have to avoid her. If you're friends now, great. It doesn't matter to me.""

---