Page 27 of Critical Doubt

"My knee wasn't the only injury I suffered. My brain keeps hearing bells. They drive me crazy. They're not ordinary, soothing bells. They can be jarring, clashing, and grinding. Any sound can set them off."

"What do you do when they go off?"

"I try not to jump out of my skin. I try to find quiet."

"And sometimes you shout at the bells to stop like you did yesterday when I found you by the river."

There was no point in pretending. "Yes, sometimes I shout. But it rarely makes a difference. I can't control when they start or when they stop."

"Is it physical or psychological?"

He shrugged. "No one knows. Apparently, my symptoms are not part of any textbook PTSD diagnosis."

Her gaze filled with sympathy. "I'm sorry, Ryker."

He hated the compassion in her eyes. He didn't want her to look at him like he was wounded. He wanted her to see him the way she had before. But that wasn't going to happen. That man was gone, and he needed to accept that. He took another sip of his coffee, needing the caffeine to kick in fast.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" she asked.

"A few hours. It wasn't just the clock that kept me up. I had a lot on my mind."

"I'm sure. I was thinking about Paul and Todd, too." She paused. "You came into my head as well."

"Oh, yeah?"

"I hadn't let myself think about the night we had together, but suddenly I couldn't stop remembering all the details, from our first drink at the bar to my leaving your hotel room."

"Why hadn't you let yourself think about it?" he asked curiously. "Did you have regrets?"

"No. I just knew it would never happen again. It was better not to think about it, not to drive myself crazy wondering if I should have stuck around to say good morning."

"You could have stayed until I woke up. We could have exchanged names, seen each other another time."

"I don't think that's what you were looking for."

"Or what you were looking for."

"You're right. I had to make a big decision, and it was time to get on with that. But that night was incredible, Ryker. I don't know if it's because we only had the one night, so we didn't have to deal with anything beyond our romantic fantasy, but it was rather extraordinary. At least, that's the way I remember it."

"I remember it that way, too," he admitted, feeling the air charge around them. They might be different people now, but the attraction was there. Their bodies still wanted each other, even if their brains were on a different page.

"So," she said, drawing in a breath. "Do you want to join the search party?"

He wanted to take her to bed, but he knew that wasn't the right answer. "Yes," he said, forcing himself to focus on what they needed to do, not what he wanted to do.

"It's good that it's not raining and windy anymore. The chopper can go back up. Hopefully, Todd is just lost in the woods and trying to get home."

Her words brought forth another memory from the night before. "I thought he came back last night. I heard something. I saw a shadow outside the window. And then I thought someone was jiggling the door."

"Did you get up to look?"

"I started to, but the clock went off, and my brain shattered. Or maybe the clock went off first and I never heard the other sounds. Sometimes reality and dreams blur together, especially when it comes to noise."

Her gaze narrowed and then she moved over to the window. He came up behind her.

There was a tree outside with long branches that brushed the panes of glass. Below the window were several thick bushes.

"What time did you hear the noise?" Savannah asked.

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