Page 124 of Critical Doubt

"That's true." He drew in a breath, as his gaze darkened. "I need to apologize for what I did earlier, leaving you without a word, not answering your texts, not treating you with the respect you deserve."

"Why did you do it?" she asked, genuinely curious to know the answer. "I thought we were on the same page."

"It was a combination of things. I was angry after my talk with Todd. And then Agent Paxton got in my face, making it clear I was not part of whatever was going to happen next. It pissed me off, and I had to get out of there. I wasn't really intending to stay away, but one thing led to another. I figured I might as well get the truck, and then I wanted to check out Mason's house."

"The truck could have been rigged with explosives. You took a big chance."

"I checked it out before I got in. Anyway, you know the rest."

"Well, I'm glad you finally called me."

"I didn't leave you out because I don't respect you, Savannah. It wasn't really about you at all. I know that sounds selfish. I've been so focused on myself, on my issues with the bells, that I stopped seeing anyone else. I was completely self-absorbed. I put up huge walls to keep everyone out. Maybe that's the way things would have gone on if I hadn't met you again, if you hadn't broken down my walls, pushed past my defenses, forced me to let you see the pain I was in. I hated you seeing me so weak, half the man I used to be, the one you fell for that night in the bar."

"Oh, Ryker, you are not weak. You are one of the strongest men I know. You not only had to face your demons to get to the truth, you had to deal with the betrayal of close friends. I know you must be in pain, even though you won't admit it."

"You're starting to know me a little too well."

"I don't think I'm even close to knowing you too well, but I'd like to get there."

"I'd like to get to know you better, too. You're an amazing woman, Savannah—smart, brave, generous, and beautiful."

Moisture blurred her eyes.

"Hey," he said gently. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"It's what you said. You put beautiful at the end. It's always been the first and often the only thing anyone saw in me."

"You are so much more than a pretty face. Although, you still take my breath away every time I look at you."

"You're not so bad yourself."

He grinned. "I'm glad you think so."

"And I'm happy you see me—the real me. To be honest, Ryker, I don't think I've ever shown my true self to anyone else. I was brave about a lot of other things, but not that, not the personal stuff. My father's desertion did a real number on my head."

"Hey, you never told me what happened with your dad."

"We can hash that out later. But I can tell you this; we spoke our truths, and for the first time I think we actually heard each other. And then we bonded over taking out the two gunmen who had come to kill my dad."

He frowned. "Wait a second. I think you glossed over that before."

"The important thing is we survived the hit, my dad trusted me enough to tell me what Vance was up to, and we put our past behind us. He's even willing to talk more often in the future."

"Do you want that?"

"I think so. We'll see how it goes. I know it won't be easy or perfect, but I understand him better, and I think he understands me. Only time will tell." She paused. "Getting back to us, I just want you to know that you broke down my walls, too—walls I didn't even know I had up. So, we're even."

"Then let's see where this thing goes."

"Well, I have to go back to LA," she said, bringing some reality back into the conversation. "I really like my job, Ryker. And after having a glimpse into Parisa's work life, I appreciate mine even more."

"I get it. And I have no problem with California. They have fishing boats there."

"Really? You wouldn't mind moving?" She had to admit even after everything they'd just said to each other, she was surprised.

"I'm done hiding on the Chesapeake Bay. Not that I don't like it there. But I need more. And I need you. I don't want to say good-bye to you, Savannah. And I don’t want you to say good-bye to me. If you're in LA, I'm there, too."

Her heart swelled with love. "I'm the luckiest woman in the world."

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