Page 12 of Critical Doubt

He gave a thumbs-up, letting them know he was okay. He was at least a mile downstream now, the river winding its way through tall trees that cast dark, despairing shadows all around him. And then he heard a helicopter, and new hope soared. Maybe they'd have a better chance of seeing Todd from that vantage point.

Another quarter mile down the river, and his body was beginning to chill; his arms and legs were tiring, reminding him that he wasn't even close to the physical shape he'd once been in. He didn't want to leave the river. He didn't want to abandon Todd. But as his leg rammed against a jagged rock, a sharp pain stabbed his knee. Then the water pulled him down, washing over his head, cutting off his breath.

He fought to get back to the surface and when he came back up, he made a wild grab for a low-hanging tree branch. He caught it and hung on, managing to swing his legs out of the water and onto a nearby boulder. He crawled over the rocks to get to the shore.

He walked along the river for another hundred yards until he could go no farther. The sun was almost completely cut off by the trees now, and there was nothing but darkness ahead. He couldn't stand the thought of Todd dying like this. He'd made it through a decade of action including the violent ambush that had taken the lives of Carlos and Leo. This damn river couldn't take his life. He had to be all right.

But Todd had been enraged when he left the church. He'd been agitated, on edge.Had he been driving too fast? Had hemissed the turn at the end of the drive? Had another car come down the road and he'd made too quick of an adjustment and gone through the guardrail?

The questions ran around in his head, including one that he didn't want to hear. But it kept getting louder.Had Todd deliberately driven off the road and into the river?

He'd been distraught over Paul's death. He'd held himself responsible.And what had he said when he was leaving?That he knew what he had to do. But that didn't mean he had to kill himself. It had to have been an accident.

He shouldn't have let Todd leave. He should have made him stay, made him talk. But he hadn't. As the guilt swelled within him, the bells began to clang. He put his hands over his ears as the torturous sounds began to scream. His breath came too fast. His heart pounded against his chest and the pain in his head was almost debilitating.

The rushing river turned into a terrifying, horrifying symphony of clanging noises that didn't go together, like instruments hitting the wrong notes, nails on a chalkboard, every awful sound, ending always with a clanging bell.

The bells had been haunting him for months, stealing a bit more of his sanity with every awful sound.

"Stop," he yelled. "Just stop, dammit."

"Okay, I'll stop," a voice said.

It took him a second to realize the voice wasn't inside his head. The bells slowly receded as he stared into Savannah's worried face. Her eyes were so clear, a beautiful light-green with gold flecks that seemed bright in the gathering darkness. Those eyes had haunted him, too, for a very long time.

"Ryker?" she queried, as she came closer. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine."

She didn't believe him, but he couldn't change that. He didn't know what he'd said, what she'd heard, but there was worry in her eyes. But her worry shouldn't be for him. "Has anyone found Todd?" he asked.

"Not yet."

"He wasn't in the car."

Her expression turned grim. "I heard that. The police, search and rescue, the fire department…everyone is searching for Todd. They'll find him. Hopefully, before he hits the rapids. They start about three miles downstream."

"Not that far," he said with fear.

"He's a strong guy. He can fight the current. You did."

"It was getting rough. And if he was injured…he could have become disoriented. He could have gotten trapped in the rocks, the trees."

"No one is giving up hope."

He wished he could say the same. In the past, he'd never been one to give up hope. He'd never looked at any problem as insurmountable, but that was before his team had been wiped out, and he'd almost died.

"Can I give you a ride back to your car?" she asked.

"What are you doing down here anyway? I thought you didn't want anything to do with me."

"The police are busy looking for Todd. But they were worried when you didn't get out of the water. I told them I'd look for you. I almost didn't see you down here. I was afraid…" Her voice trailed off. "Anyway, it's getting dark. I have your shoes and your suit jacket in the car. We should go."

"Okay," he said, becoming aware of the cold seeping into his bones.

As they walked down the bank, she said, "Did you notice if the airbags were deployed in Todd's car?"

"They were."

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