Page 43 of Ruthless Cross

"She didn't like it at all. She was afraid I was going to find him and afraid I wouldn't. She didn't want me to spend my life chasing his ghost or being caught up in the same world that had ripped apart our family. Of course, I didn't listen to her. I was obsessed when I was younger. I wanted to see his face again. I wanted to confront him for everything he'd done. I wanted him to have to see me, to have to hear what he did to us. And there was a part of me that wanted to put him in jail, to make him pay." He could still feel that fiery anger.

"I'm a little surprised you haven't been able to find him, given your connections."

"He went deep underground, somewhere far away from here. I'm sure he changed his name. And I suspect he had enough connections in the black market that he was able to find enough money to start over."

"Do you think he's still doing what he was doing?"

"I don't even know if he's alive, so speculating about anything else is pointless."

"Well, I'm glad your mom was able to get her life back together, and that she might have a new love now. Trusting another man wouldn't be easy for her." Callie paused, tilting her head as she gave him a thoughtful look. "What about you? I know you've moved past your father's betrayal, but what about Olivia. Have you moved past her death, too?"

"Both events happened a long time ago, Callie."

"That's not an answer. Have you had any other long-term, serious relationships since Olivia?"

"First of all, Olivia and I only dated about six months before she died, so long-term wasn't that long. We were kids. We were crazy about each other, but we were young."

"And after she died…who came next?"

He frowned at her pressing question. "I had one relationship in my twenties that lasted about a year but wasn't meant for forever. Since then, I've been busy with work. I travel a lot. I work unpredictable hours. I get obsessed with a case and I can't think of anything else until it's solved. None of those things make me a good boyfriend. Believe me, I've been told that a lot by the women I have dated."

She laughed. "I'll bet."

"So, I prefer to keep things light, easy."

"In other words, you're like most guys I know," she said dryly.

"I hope not. I'd rather be one of a kind."

"Sorry, but I've heard this song before. Everyone uses work as a reason not to commit, but that's never the reason. It's always about the person. When you find someone that you want to see every single day of the week, then work doesn't matter. That's my opinion, anyway."

"Didn't you tell me earlier that you've been too busy to date, too, that you've been building your career?"

"Well, I didn't say I wasn't like everyone else," she admitted.

He appreciated her candor. Callie was not a woman who played games, and that was refreshing. Although, they weren't dating, so perhaps that's why they could be more honest with each other.

"Love scares me," she continued. "I've seen what love has done to my mom. All those emotions can be overwhelming and exhausting. I'm not sure I need that in my life."

"You're not your mother."

"I've always been a little afraid that I could be like her. When I was younger, if I started to cry, I'd immediately force myself to stop. I thought if I broke down even a little bit, I might fall completely apart. I did everything I could not to let myself get too involved, too caught up in anything or anyone."

"Because if you didn't allow yourself to care, you couldn't be hurt." He thought that was a rather sad way to live, but he completely understood her fears.

"And there would be no tears," she added. "No endless harangue of whining and crying and feeling like I was in a black hole that I couldn't get out of."

"That kind of isolation can prevent you from living a full, rich life," he said, not liking the way she'd put her emotions on ice.

"But I won't end up in a psych ward."

"You wouldn't end up there even if you did let go a little. Your core is steel, Callie. Beautiful, determined, stubborn steel."

Her gaze widened in surprise. "No one has ever described me that way."

"Maybe you've never let anyone see you that way. But I see you."

Their gazes clung together as the air between them sizzled. He felt an irresistible pull in her direction, and he shut down all instincts warning caution. He'd always liked to live dangerously, and tonight was no exception.

---