Page 70 of Kiss Me Forever

"You can't pretend you aren't that person," he said, shaking his head. "You can't act like it never happened."

"I didn't mean it that way. I just want you to understand that I've really changed. I'm not being controlled by drugs or alcohol any longer, and I'm trying to make a good life for my children and my husband."

"I don't really care what you do with your life," he said harshly.

She flinched, but her gaze didn't waver. "I get that. But I needed to say I was sorry and for you to hear me."

"That's whatyouneeded. Did you ever think about what I needed?"

"I thought about it for a long time." She paused. "Leaving you at that church was the worst thing I've ever done in my life. I had nightmares about it for years. I kept seeing your sad face, and even though I didn't say good-bye, you knew I wasn't coming back."

She was right. He had known. He had known it from the second they left the apartment that that day was different.

"I told myself you'd be better off with another family, a good family," she added. "I was such a mess."

"Is that what you told yourself so you could sleep at night?"

"No. I never slept. I just passed out when my body couldn't take any more. I don't know how I lived through those years. I could have died so many times. But somehow I came out of it. Unfortunately, by the time that happened, you were all grown up. I thought about reaching out to you for a long time, but I always stopped myself. I couldn't imagine why you would want to see me. But after I got married and had the girls, I missed you even more. When I was mothering them, I was seeing you. That's why I finally came to see you last year. I know you thought I wanted money. That wasn't it at all. I wanted to see you, to tell you about the girls, to let you know that if there was any small part of you that wanted a family again, that we were there." She let out a breath. "Is there any small part of you that wants that?"

He thought about her question for a long moment. He wanted to know his sisters. He just needed to accept that they came with his mother.

Maybe it was time to let the past go. In reality, he probably wouldn't be the man he was today if she hadn't left him at that church. The fact that his life wasn't easy had pushed him to the level of success he had now.

Bottom line, he was tired of trying to avoid her and being angry with her. He'd always prided himself on being able to look forward, so why was he letting the past hold him back now?

"What do you say, Alex?" she pressed. "Will you at least think about it?"

"Aren't you afraid of what I'll tell my sisters or your husband about you?"

"I'm hoping I can trust you not to hurt them. You always protected people—from the time you were a little boy. You always stood up when anyone was getting picked on. You even tried to protect me. I remember all the times you came looking for me. You pulled me out of a bar one night, and you were only ten years old." Her eyes filled with pain. "I remember you holding my hair when I threw up. And then you told everything would be okay; you would take care of me. I was supposed to be taking care of you."

Her words hit him hard. She was the only one in the world who really knew his life, who'd lived those years with him.

"If I could change the past, I would, Alex. I'd be a better mother."

"Be a good mother now. Give those girls what you couldn't give me. If you want to make something up to me, do that."

"Will you meet your sisters?"

He hesitated. "I need a little time to think."

"I'll take that as a maybe. I'm glad we finally got a chance to talk." She paused. "That woman who came here yesterday—she said she was a reporter. Did you tell her our story?"

"I did."

Her face paled. "Do I need to prepare the girls?"

"I'm not sure yet." He paused. "I'm hoping Andrea will do the right thing."

"Do you really think you can trust a reporter? Or is she more to you than that?"

"I honestly don't know."

* * *

Later that night, Alex worked off the stress of seeing his mother again at Mick's gym. After thirty minutes pounding a punching bag with his one good hand, he was starting to feel slightly more in control of his life. He took a break, pulled off his glove and grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator.

As he was taking a long swig, Mick walked over to him.

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