Page 73 of Dreaming of You

"We're a long way from talking about marriage."

"That's true, but I don't want to start something with you that can't possibly go where you want it to go."

"Don't presume to know what I want."

"Then tell me what you want," he challenged. "Tell me where I'm wrong."

She stared back at him for a long minute. She wanted to say he was wrong, but was he? Wasn't he just echoing the doubts that had been going through her head?

"It's really early to make long-term assumptions," she murmured.

"It is, but I like you, Kate. And I don't want to hurt you. I want you to have everything you want, and I know that's marriage and family. You want the big romance, the life-or-death love affair, the magnificent gesture, and you should have all of that. But for me, I don't think I want to go down that road again. I'm not cut out to be a husband and probably not a father. Maybe it would be better if we stop right where we are. We'll be office friends."

"Office friends, huh?"

"I'll move out as soon as I can find some other space."

She felt a heaviness in her heart, but it was difficult to fight back against the truth. She did want a happily ever after. She wanted a family, a husband, a father for whatever children she would have. She deserved that. She'd grown up in a broken home, and no matter how great her grandparents had been, they still hadn't been her parents. She wanted to put together a traditional family. She wanted to marry someone forever.

Maybe it was all a pipe dream. Perhaps they were acting prematurely. No one could predict the future. But she couldn't go into a relationship, knowing there was no hope of getting what she wanted.

"You don't have to move," she said. "If you want this to be over, then it's over."

"Just like that."

"Just like that," she echoed. "I'm not going to make a scene."

"Okay," he said, looking a little unsure now that she'd agreed with him.

"But I think you're wrong, Barrett. I think you could be an amazing husband and father. And I'm a little sad that you can't see that, that you can't allow yourself to take another chance. But maybe the right woman would make you feel differently."

"This isn't about you; it's about me."

"It's about both of us. You should go, Barrett." She really needed him to get out of the car before she broke down. Already, she could feel the emotions rising within her. She was sad and angry and disappointed. But she needed to keep it together.

"All right. Good night, Kate," he said, a somber note in his voice. He gave her one last, searching look and then got out of the car.

She took off as soon as the door closed, needing to put some distance between them before the tears started to fall.

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