Page 81 of Never Say Never

“Geez,“ Holden says. “You okay?”

I don’t even know why I just snapped at him. I am clearly not okay.

“Sorry. What were you saying?”

“I asked you if you wanted to get burgers tonight.”

He gets up from the kitchen table and rinses off his plate before putting it in the dishwasher. “You’ve been in a shit mood for days, man. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

No one bothered to tell me that being in a long-distance relationship is fucking hard. I’m only six weeks into this and I’m not sure if I’m going to make it. I’m tired of counting down days on a calendar. I’m tired of missing Daisy. Holden is right. I’ve been in a shit mood and even I can’t stand myself.

“I don’t feel like talking about it.”

“Well, too bad, because you’re going to,” he says, taking the chair beside me. “You sat me down not too long ago to get me through my shit. So now it’s your turn to talk.”

I groan, pulling my baseball cap a little lower over my eyes. “You’re not going to go away, are you?”

“Nope.” Holden crosses his arms over his chest and raises his eyebrows. “Is it Daisy or your dad?”

“Fine,” I say, accepting the fact that I am not going to win this battle. “It’s Daisy.”

The last time we talked was three days ago, before she boarded a sailboat to cruise the Tyrrhenian Sea for four days. It wasn’t a great call. She sensed something was wrong when I was quieter than usual, but I didn’t have it in me to tell her I had run into my dad, and he was a total dick. It happened at Dream Bean when I was picking up my morning coffee, so thankfully he couldn’t make a scene. But he didn’t have to blow up at me to get under my skin. Telling me that I was the reason his relationship with Daisy’s parents was strained was enough to piss me off. But I didn’t want to rehash it with Daisy, not when I knew it would put a damper on her trip.

“So, the common denominator here is your dad,” Holden says after I finish telling him everything.

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

“And you’re a softie for your girl.”

“That too.”

“First things first… work it out with him. I know it sucks, but you’re going to have to talk again,” Holden says. “You’re the better man. I say you go over there and see if you can hash it out.”

I know Holden’s heart is in the right place, but what could I say to my dad at this point that would make him see that I’m not the guy he thinks I am? Besides, do I even care what he thinks? I’ve always been a disappointment in his eyes. I doubt that will ever change.

I know for damn sure when I have a child of my own—and for some fucked up reason the idea of that with Daisy keeps crossingmy mind— I will love that kid unconditionally. And they will love me back. I will earn that love every day of their life.

“I hate seeing you sulk like this. This isn’t you, man.”

Holden is right. This isn’t me. But this long-distance thing is bullshit.

“She’s your end game, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure she is.”

“Aw, Collins. My boy here is in love,” Holden teases, ruffling my hair. “So sweet.”

“Idiot,” I groan. “Are you done with your pep talk now?”

Holden laughs, sliding off his bar stool. ”Yeah, I’m done. Wanna run?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

I change into shorts and an old T-shirt and meet Holden by the front door. After I’ve laced up my tennis shoes, I check my phone for a message from Daisy.Nothing.Instead, I stare at the lock screen photo on my iPhone: a selfie Daisy and I took on one of our beach walks. I’m standing behind her with my arms wrapped around her, and I’m kissing her cheek. She looks so beautiful it makes my chest hurt.

Maybe if my dad understood that Daisy really is it for me, that she’s the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with, he’d realize why I’m not backing down.

Holden and I head out for our run, and I pour all of my frustration and anger into the pavement. Back at our place, I have a shower and change into a sweatshirt and jeans, and then man up and do what I need to do. I drive to my parents’ house and knock on their front door.

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