I trace my fingers over each petal, swallowing the lump in my throat. My vision blurs with the tears that I’m trying not to shed. For so many years I have wondered why he pushed me away. I’ve never really understood it. Now, hearing him say that I’ve always mattered to him—so much that he has my initials tattooed on his chest—just adds to my confusion.
“I was 18. The summer after we graduated, that’s when I got the flower on my chest. Then on your birthday—our birthday—Iadded the initials. You’ve always been close to my heart, Daisy, even when you couldn’t stand me.”
I press my fingertips to my cheek to stop the tears that have spilled over. “We weren’t even talking then, Tuck. I thought I had done something wrong.” I swallow. “Why would you ink my initials into your skin after you did everything you could to push me away?”
His thumb swipes a tear from my cheek. “Daisy—"
I look into his eyes, trying to figure out what he’s thinking. None of this makes sense to me. I honestly think Tucker is oblivious to the fact that he cracked my heart in two. Ten years later, it still hasn’t fully healed. After everything that has happened between us, I need answers. “Tucker, what did you mean when you told me you didn’t have a choice? I need to know.”
My voice cracks, but I force myself to hold his gaze. Tucker sighs, wiping a hand across his forehead.
“Please,” I beg, heart clenching. “I need you to tell me everything.”
He motions for us to sit on the bed and when we do, he looks down at his hands and then blows out a breath before he starts talking. “After you left that day, the day that I kissed you in the living room, my dad asked to speak to me in his office.” He swallows. “He saw us kiss… and as I’m sure you can imagine, he wasn’t happy.”
Tucker casts a sideways look at me, and I nod for him to keep going.
“He told me that it never should have happened. He said that we were too young to know what we were doing. He was upset, saying that you trusted me, and I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you.”
“You told him he was wrong, right? We both wanted that kiss.”
“I couldn’t,” he says through a lump in his throat. “I know I should have, but I… just couldn’t. You know how he is, Daisy.”
“So, you thought you would just stop talking to me?” I ask, struggling to understand. “Why didn’t you just tell me what he said?”
“Because of the ultimatum.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, shaking my head as my stomach turns. I know that Uncle Mark can be tough, be he loves me. He would never do anything to hurt me. He loves Tuck too, even though their relationship isn’t easy.
“Dais,” he croaks. “He forbade it. He told me that if I didn’t stay away from you, he would send me away to some stupid boarding school until I graduated. I didn’t know what to do. I was chasing a football scholarship and worried what leaving the team would mean for my future. And if I left Reed Point, I would never see you. At least if I was here, even if I couldn’t be with you, I could bearoundyou. I could still look out for you.”
“He made you stay away from me.” My entire body tenses as an unrestrained anger rips through me.
I never knew what to think. It ate at me for months. All I could guess was that Tucker just didn’t want me. I was sick when I saw him at school in the weeks following our kiss. The first time I had to see him with a girl, it just about killed me. Reliving that pain is not something I want to do, but I know we need to finally work through this.
I’m overwhelmed, so angry, but the sadness I feel outweighs everything else in this moment. I shake my head and try to move away from him, but Tucker puts his hand on my thigh, keeping me next to him.
“I didn’t have a choice, Dais. He told me we were family. He was your godfather; wewerepractically family. He said I would only hurt you, and honestly, I thought maybe he was right. I was a kid, I was fucking up left, right and center back then, doingstupid shit. He said it could never work between us, but it would destroy things between our families. That your mom and dad would never forgive me if you got hurt. It wouldn’t be worth it. I know that I was idiot to listen to him, but at the time, I was really scared. But I know now how hard it was for you, and I’m so sorry for that.”
“You could have just told me,” I say through the pain in my throat. “It broke my heart not knowing what I had done for you to stop talking to me. All I wanted was a reason. I felt so lost, and I missed you, and I wanted the chance to fix what I had done wrong.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Daisy. It was never you. Do you understand me?” he says reaching for my hands.
“You broke my heart, Tucker.” My voice trembles. “That kiss meant everything to me, and foryearsyou let me believe that it meant nothing to you.”
I think back to every message I sent that went unanswered, every time he looked the other way when he saw me at school. The way my heart broke again and again.
“Daisy—"
“No, I need to get this out,” I says in a choked whisper, cracking my heart wide open for him. “You knew me. You knew how much our friendship meant to me. And you knew what pushing me away would do to me. How could you do it? How could you hurt me like that?”
“You think I wanted to hurt you?” he shouts. “You think it didn’t kill me?”
“Then why did you do it? Why didn’t you just tell me what your dad was doing? We could have at least figured it out together.”
“I was 16. My dad is a powerful man. He never issues threats that he doesn’t back up.” Tucker shakes his head as if he’s reliving the memory. “I wanted to stay at Heritage. I was scaredto go away. And worst of all… if I did leave… who was going to be there to look out for you?”
He hangs his head, and even though I know I’m treading in dangerous waters, I stay here with his hands in mine.