Page 54 of Never Say Never

“I doubt that very much.”

A strange feeling sparks to life behind my ribcage. Not long ago, I could have said that without a second thought. Now,though, Icanimagine a life like the one Jesse has. With Daisy. Married, a house, a dog, a baby. All of it.

Have I lost it? Every day that passes has me questioning my sanity. It wasn’t that long ago that I looked at a woman and saw nothing but a hook-up, a good time. And now? The only thing I want to do when I’m not coaching football is hang with Daisy. Now that I have her back in my life, I’m scared to let her go.

Jesse rolls his eyes, then raps his knuckles on my desk before pushing to stand. “If you need me, I’m going to run down and check in on Austin. He’s having his shoulder taped. Otherwise, I’ll see you at warmup.”

“I’ll head down once I’m finished here.”

Austin Davies is our QB1. He tore his rotator cuff last season and now, one year later, he’s back on the field. He sat on the sidelines for the first half of the year before being given the okay to get back into the game just as we were entering the mid-way point of the season. We beat SFU that night thanks mostly to Austin, and we’ve been looking strong as a team ever since.

When I reach the locker room, it’s alive with a buzz that is invigorating, the guys chanting in a circle, the volume of their voices growing louder. My eyes rest on Austin, who is leading the hype-up in the middle of the room with players clapping shoulders and bouncing up and down all around him. I nod and listen from where I’m standing along the outside of the room with Jesse next to me, but as much as I try to feel it too, inside it feels like I’m drowning in a pool of anxious thoughts. Nerves or not, when it’s time to hit the field for warmup, I will swallow down the fear, becoming the calm and pragmatic coach my players need me to be.

That is my job. It’s what I get paid to do. More than that, being on the field in front of stands full of Outlaw fans lights a fire in me.

It’s cold but sunny when our warmup gets underway. I’d woken up to frost on my truck this morning, which is normal for the middle of January, but you would think it was the beginning of spring with the way the sun is shining over Reed Point as I jog onto the field.

I look up into the stands and see hundreds of RPU Outlaws fans holding handmade signs and cheering for our boys in green and gold. I allow myself a moment to take it in. We are one win away, and we’ve worked too hard to let anyone take it away from us now.

Thirty minutes later, the place is going wild as the game is set to start. I am as focused as I’ve ever been when I huddle our players around me for a brief meeting, yelling to be heard above the deafening roar of the crowd. I meet the eyes of every single player and see the confidence and determination in them. They hit the field vibrating with a raw, nervous energy.

“Hut!”

My eyes are on Austin as the game ball finds his hands for the first time. He’s moved back into the pocket looking for a receiver and when he finds one, I watch his arm snap the ball high through the air. I’ve seen him throw the ball more times than I can count this season, but I still worry about his arm every time. He rubs his shoulder after the play, but I know with just one glance that his rotator cuff is stable. You would never know he’s rehabbing an injury. I need it to stay that way for the next four quarters.

The first two quarters pass in the blink of an eye and then the team is back in the dressing room, huddled around Austin and me. We’re down 14 points thanks to a 47-yard touchdown by the Vikings’ leading receiver early in the second quarter and a fumble on our end that they were able to capitalize on. We’ve had to come back from worse deficits, but we have a long road ahead if we’re going to win this.

We are a few minutes away from starting the second half, so I whistle to get everyone’s attention and then let Austin take it from there. Most of the guys take a knee, quieting down as they listen to their QB.

“This is it,” Austin’s voice echoes off the walls, and I feel the weight of his words in my chest. Every player in the room feels it too. “We have two quarters to get this done. The Vikings are good. They’re tough and they’ve shown us that they want this W just as much as we do.” He looks around the room, making sure everyone is listening. “But we’re the better team and we’re going to prove that tonight, boys! I want to see your blood, sweat and tears out on that field! Let’s fucking go!” A roar rips through the team in response.

“Outlaws in three!”

In one booming voice, the players count to three, then yell “Outlaws!” The guys bounce up to their feet, clapping each other’s backs, the energy in the room turning explosive. We spill into the tunnel and out onto the field like a pack of hungry lions stalking our prey.

I slow my pace as I approach the sidelines, stopping just a few feet from where I know Daisy is sitting in the stands. My heart rate kicks up when I spot her looking more beautiful than I’ve ever seen her. She’s wearing the Outlaw jersey I gave her under a jacket that she’s left open, a green and gold ribbon in her hair. The setting sun casts a golden hour glow over her, her chestnut brown hair shimmering in the fading light.

Her eyes meet mine and I stand rooted in place for a beat, game playbook in hand. For a split second, it’s just me and her in the stadium while everything else fades away. She nods at me, and I pinch the brim of my ball cap and then turn and jog over to where Jesse stands, putting on my game face.

I have a game to win. Let’s fucking go, Outlaws.

TWENTY

BRACE YOURSELF, DAISY. THIS IS GOING TO BE ROUGH

Daisy

I’m a mess for Tucker. It feels like the entire town has come out to watch tonight’s Division 2 national championship game. Tucker has his own cheering squad here: Me, Briar, Addy and Jonathan, my parents and Aunt Daisy and Uncle Mark.

I’m thankful that Uncle Mark showed up, even if he seems to be slightly annoyed with almost everything. The line-up to get in was too long, the tailgating too loud and the weather too cold. But he’s here, and that’s what matters. I know it will mean something to Tucker, and the truth is it means something to me too. I hate it when my uncle isn’t supportive of Tucker, but tonight I hope he’ll be proud. God, I hope he will see what everyone else does when they watch Tucker coach.

I’m wearing the jersey Tucker gave me, hoping it will bring some luck. I’m not sure what I’ll say if anyone asks me where I got it, but I’m hoping if I keep my jacket on all night, no one will see the number 20 and his name on the back.

The boys could use some luck right now. At halftime, the Outlaws are down by 14. We’re being outplayed and the Vikings look steady. My attention hasn’t swayed far from Tucker allnight. He looks more focused than I have ever seen him. I notice the tight set of his jaw, the tension in his stance.

He also looks ridiculously handsome in his game gear: an Outlaws jacket over a black polo, the sleeves pushed up just enough to reveal a hint of his tattoos, and his team ball cap pulled low on his head. I can’t tear my eyes away from the intoxicating mixture of confidence and intense male energy. His jaw ticks, his blue eyes are laser focused. It’s enough to make my pulse race watching him do what he does best.

Tucker Collins, head coach for the Reed Point University Outlaws and the man I have secretly wanted for half of my life.

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