Page 71 of My Favorite Sin

I don’t answer the question. His shock only reinforces the deep shit I’m in.

“Now I see your issue. I mean, look, that’s… really fucked up.”

“Iknowit’s fucked up.” I groan. “And to be clear, there is nome and Ally.”

“Nothing has happened between you two?” he asks.

I shoot Felix a glare, which answers the question for me.

Felix sits down to absorb the information, scratching his jaw irritably. “I knew you two were close. I thought it was just friendship because of how difficult her past has been.” He wipes a hand over his face in contemplation, then sets stern eyes upon me. “What Tyler said on your birthday is true, that we only remain a part of this family because of Ally and her mom. You might not see Ally as family, but we do, and I need to know you’re not just fucking around with her to piss off Dad.”

“This has nothing to do with Dad. I’ve kept my distance from Ally for years because I wanted to do right by this family. She went to Paris because she was trying to fight her feelings for me. I’m in love with her and always will be. But she won’t be with me because of what others will think.”

“Okay. I just needed to understand your situation. Notthat Idounderstand. But I needed to know you were doing right by her.” Felix scrunches his eyes shut and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Wow, man, you’re playing with fire.”

I rake my hand through my hair, pulling at the ends. “You don’t know the half of it. I didn’t use a condom.”

“Shit.” His gaze whips to me. “What thefuckwere you thinking? I thought I taught you to always wear?—”

“I wasn’t thinking.”

“Clearly. Is she pregnant?”

“I don’t know. She’s not worried. She says her period is due today, but I haven’t heard from her yet.”

Felix looks at a clock on his gym wall. “Six p.m. Fuck, man, you better hope you hear from her soon. I need a drink to deal with this. I can’t imagine howyou’refeeling. Come on, we’re going to The Scarlet Mirage.”

Thursday night and Felix’s speakeasy is fairly quiet. A solo female vocalist sings a melancholy song on stage, matching my mood perfectly. Felix and I sit at the bar, both nursing a whisky, though I’ve barely touched mine. I can’t focus on anything other than getting confirmation that Ally isn’t pregnant, and decide it’s best to stay sober in case confirmation never arrives and I need to drive to Ally to support her.

“This whole thing with Ally is a lot to wrap my head around,” Felix says. “But maybe she’s been good for you. She got you to come out on your birthday.”

“I’ve been thinking about a lot over the last couple of days. What I’m about to say is pretty fucked up. That comment Killian made about Mom on my birthday—shit happens, but now Dad is happily in love with Amabella and wehave Ally—I don’t want to admit it, but he’s right. If Mom was still here, I never would have met Ally. Maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe I’m finally okay with letting go of the issue around my birthday.”

Felix side-eyes me, laughing in disbelief. “I’ve spent twenty-two years trying to convince you of this, and yet Ally is the one who gets the message through to your head. Okay, sheisgood for you. But could you just imagine if Dad and Amabella found out? You’d have corrupted their innocent little girl and brought disgrace to the Blackwood name and Forever Families.”

“Oh, they would never forgive me.” I spin my crystal whiskey glass in mindless circles on the wooden bar top, then check my phone. No messages. The silence is driving me insane. If I don’t hear from Ally by the end of the night, I’m calling her, regardless that I agreed to not contact her. “I need to get off the topic of Ally. Tell me what’s with you and Harper. You two were friends as kids. I remember you and Tyler used to spend a lot of time at her home growing up.”

Felix sips his whiskey, chewing on ice. “The short version of the story—Harper and I used to sleep together before she started dating Tyler.”

My eyebrows rise at the news, though it’s not a total shock. I knew there’d have to be some explanation like this to warrant the tension between them all. “Does Tyler know you slept with her?”

“He certainly does.” His answer is bitter. Felix downs the remainder of his drink and orders another one.

“I’m going to need more of an explanation.”

“Growing up, Tyler was always Harper’s best friend. I was close with her too until high school when I started getting in trouble with the law. Harper was my opposite.She had strong morals, took pride in her education, had insane focus on ballet, and was proudly saving herself for marriage. She didn’t approve of my choices and distanced herself from me. We barely spoke again until my senior year.”

Felix’s new drink arrives. He thanks the bartender and gulps half of the glass down. A moment later, he laughs under his breath, shaking his head at what I can only assume is some sordid memory. “Let’s just say she changed her mind about a lot of things. About me and waiting for marriage. Whenever Harper and I were alone… The girl was… Well, I imagine it was like what you and Ally have.Had.”

His laughter has to be a coping mechanism. If Harper means to Felix what Ally means to me, and he lost her… I know how bad that hurts. After all these years, he’s still hung up on the same girl. It’s like looking at a reflection of myself and where I’ll be in several years, still in love with Ally but watching her with another man. I asked to hear this story as a distraction from my own shit. Now I feel worse.

“So, where did it all go south?” I ask, knowing from experience there’s nothing I can say or do that will offer Felix any relief.

“She wasn’t just mine. Tyler and I used to share Harper.”

I pause, not shocked that my brothers would share a girl but that Harper is the kind of girl who would be into that. “How did she end up with just Tyler?”

“I haven’t had enough drinks to retell that part of the story.”

---