Page 15 of My Favorite Sin

“Yeah. I won’t keep you long if you’re tired. I just wanted to tell you I’ve been thinking about our argument from last night. And, look, I don’t want things to be weird between us. I’m glad you’re back from Paris. I’ve missed having you around this last year as a friend. I don’t want what happened in the past to ruin things for us… as friends.”

The way he clarifies the friends part twice makes me hopeful. We can’t have repeats of what happened before Paris, especially when more is at stake now. If two teachers got fired from Sacred Heart due to therumorof an affair, I’d for sure lose my job if it ever leaked that I’m involved with Dan.

“Now that we’ve got that sorted, how was your first day of work?”

“Tough,” I sigh. “I’m sure you don’t want to hear the boring details of my life.”

“Oh, come on.” There’s a trace of amusement in his voice. I visualize Dan on the other end of this phone call, maybe in bed like me, with a lazy grin sitting on his lips and his body drenched in that neon blue light. “I need a rundown of the scandalous shit Ally Hastings gets up to when I’m not around. What did they make you do at work today—get a staff badge, sign up for playground duty?”

I laugh at the way he teases me. Of course, only Dan can make me laugh after a day like today. I’ve missed this side of him and it’s so nice to finally get it back. When Dan and I first met, I was awkward around him but he had a way of breaking down my barriers. He took an interest in my music, so far as to request I give him piano lessons. I toldhim about the bullying and my lack of friends, so he took it upon himself to walk me home from school every day so I wouldn’t feel so lonely. We bonded over the sadness of how we both have a deceased parent we’ve never known. With our parents dating, Dan was always around, and I grew attached to him quickly.

Everyone always assumes I hung around him so much because I had no other friends, not because I had inappropriate feelings for him.

Haveinappropriate feelings. They’re still here and I hate that they are. I just wish I was normal. A normal girl with normal friends and a normal boyfriend.

“Okay, what scandalous shit did I get up to at work today?” I roll onto my elbows, my feet gently kicking in the air as I think about a response. “Well, this isn’t work related but Killian and I have started a thing. Five a.m. jogging sessions.”

“You have a thing with Killian? I’m jealous. You and I need a thing.”

The deep sound of Dan’s voice gives me butterflies, his tone amused, even teasing, like he’s flirting with me. Maybe he is. I don’t know. It’s hard to distinguish between what is normal, friendly behavior with me and Dan since he’s always spoken to me like this, even before anything sexual happened between us.

“Okay, fine. What do you want our thing to be?” I ask.

“We talk on the phone every night.”

My eyes widen. My legs stop kicking. “Isn’t that a bit excessive?” Like something a boyfriend and girlfriend would do.

“This is us, Ally. Nothing is excessive.”

Us.

Why does that word have to sound so good coming out of his mouth?

When I don’t reply, Dan speaks again, his voice low and intimate but with a firmness to it. “You ran away from me for a year and it fucking hurt, Ally. I understand why you did it, but now that you’re back, we don’t just continue as strangers. You and I used to talk all the time, even before you started getting off on being naked in front of me.”

“Dan,” I gasp, trying to ignore how my inner thigh muscles clench. “Don’t speak about that?—”

“I know, sis. Relax,” he chuckles. “Clean slate between us. No weirdness. We’re just friends now. Brother and sister.”

“You’re kind of being a jerk right now.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“I won’t answer.” I end the call without saying goodbye, annoyed at the buzz of excitement that’s swarming through me, pooling in my groin. Annoyed that despite what I say, I know myself and I’ll most definitely be answering Dan’s phone call tomorrow night.

CHAPTER SIX

ALLY

My fingers press the final keys of Chopin’sFantaisie-Impromptu, the music fades, and a gentle applause spreads through the audience of the Forever Families benefit. I gaze around the art gallery, at everyone dressed in their sparkling gowns and tuxedos, and find a room full of smiles directed at me.

Cameras flash. My photo will be in the news tomorrow, but I don’t mind the attention when it’s for a good cause. Plus, I love performing. For me, it’s nothing like an audition. There’s no stress involved nor do I feel trapped. Performing doesn’t come with rejection and disappointment. My skill pleases people and makes them happy. They praise me and I feel accepted, even if only for a short period.

I stand and bow, soaking up their approval. The weekend is here and giving this piano performance is the first time since starting work at Sacred Heart that I’ve felt some sense of normality. The preparatory week has been a huge adjustment. I’m not sleeping properly because of the stress. Each day at school, I walk around on eggshells trying to act professional and impress the staff. At night, I arrivehome late due to the overwhelming workload. I haven’t had a single moment to myself where I can practice my music. I’m constantly tired and hating on life except for that moment each night when I see Dan’s incoming call appear on my phone.

To my surprise and relief, he behaves himself on the phone. We tell each other about our day. We laugh and vent about our issues. It feels good to have him as a friend and brother again even though things are still a little weird between us. I keep using those labels, hoping they’ll ward off this never-ending attraction I have for him. Each night, when I lie in bed and listen to his deep voice through the speaker, I try to block out the memories of our past. I fail every time. There is no blocking out the way Dan makes me feel.

When our calls end, my hand finds its way beneath my panties and I fuck my fingers, just like Dan taught me to. Maybe that’s the base of the issue. I’ll never get over Dan if I keep giving myself orgasms to the thought of him. But when I get in those moods, I’m so desperate and worked up over him, I’ll do anything to find release.

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