Page 73 of My Favorite Sin

His throat bobs as he searches for something else to say. I feel terrible, seeing him like this and knowing he’s been struggling.

I slide closer to Liam and take his hand in mine before he can say anything further. “I’m sorry I’ve caused you pain but I’m not right for an open relationship. Even if I were, I see you as a friend, which means a lot since I don’t have many friends.”

His warm hand squeezes mine as he searches my eyes with softness. “Ally, I never shared with you the reason why I do open relationships. My parents had a bad marriage and as a kid, I witnessed them constantly arguing. They divorced when I was ten. After that, my father told me marriage is a lie people are tricked into. That being with one person forever sounds romantic at first,but the romance fades and one person can’t fulfill all our needs. I took his word for it. But then… you ended things with me and… I know this will sound crazy, but I’ve spent the last two weeks thinking about a moment you and I shared in my apartment.”

“Oh?” I draw my hand back from Liam’s, unsure where he’s going with this explanation.

“I was sitting on the couch with you in my arms and there was a stretch of silence between us that was so comfortable. I didn’t feel the need to fill it with conversation. We were just together. I’ve never had that with anyone. The girl I went on a date with the following night… she was nice but… my mind was with you and how it felt when we were on the couch.”

“Liam…”

“Please just let me finish. What I’m trying to say is I’ve come to realize we’re all living our own lives, having our own experiences, and this jaded idea of monogamy is just my father’s experience. When you ended things with me, I spent days missing you and questioning why I need anyone else. I want to be exclusive with you, Ally. I know you said you see me as a friend, but you didn’t give us a chance to be anything more. I want that chance.”

I bite my bottom lip, stunned by Liam’s declaration. For a moment, I’m speechless as my mind tries to process Liam’s words. They’re beautiful but are a lot to take on board.

“I know that moment on the couch you’re talking about. It was nice.” I’m surprised I was able to have a moment like that with anyone other than Dan. Liam is right that I didn’t give us a proper chance. It would be convenient if I could switch off the side of me that is in love with Dan, but my feelings for him aren’t going anywhere.

“Couples start off as friends all the time,” Liam continues, seeing my hesitation. “It’s what makes their connection so strong.”

It’s flattering how determined Liam is to be with me, especially since I’ve lived my whole life without any guys being overly interested in me other than Dan. I sigh, wondering if there’s some merit to his argument. Dan and I started as friends. This was the original plan for me and Liam, to see if down the track we could be anything more.

“Maybe we can hang out as friends and see if this goes anywhere.” Something in my gut doesn’t sit right as I speak the words. But I’ll never move on from Dan if I don’t at least entertain the idea of letting another man into my life. “I’m not in the right headspace to jump straight into being your girlfriend.”

He smiles at me and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. “So, let’s do it. Let’s see where this goes.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

ALLY

“Happy birthday, honey!”

Mom pulls the curtains open, blinding me with sunlight. I roll over in bed, silently cursing her for being so cheerful at this early hour on Saturday morning.

“Wake up. Liam is downstairs.”

“Already?” I rub my eyes, checking the time on my phone. I’ve asked Mom not to plan a celebration for me—knowing a celebration would mean interacting with Dan—and instead told Liam we could spend the day together, but I didn’t expect him here so early.

We’ve hung out a few times in the last ten days since he came to my house, asking me to give him another chance. He took me back to the jazz club one evening. We went out to dinner another night. It’s been nice. He hasn’t tried to kiss me, which I appreciate. He’s giving me my space like I asked, being my friend.

“Trust me, honey, Liam’s present for you is incredible. You’ll want to get out of bed.”

My mother loves the idea of me being with Liam. Overall, I think she’s just pleased that I’ve started socializingoutside of the family. She always tells me how well-suited Liam and I are with our interests and what a polite young man he is every time he stops by the house. She’s already organized for his band to perform at the next Forever Families benefit in one week’s time.

Mom passes my dressing gown to me and kisses my cheek. “I’ll see you downstairs. Josh and I have a present for you.”

As soon as she’s gone, I sit up in bed and check my phone, the zero messages and zero missed calls carving a hollow space in my chest. Dan and I used to always spend my birthday together. My God, I miss him. I told him we shouldn’t speak for a while. I never stated how long but it doesn’t feel like enough time has passed, not when that night with him is still so fresh in my mind.

Yet it feels weird not talking to him today. Dan would always go above and beyond on my birthday, spoiling me with the most incredibly thought-out gifts. For my sixteenth, the first year we met, Dan decorated the ceiling of my room to resemble the night sky and all its stars that can’t be seen from the city. It would have taken him hours to create. We stayed up the entire night, in the dark and side by side on our backs, gazing up at the beautiful ceiling and talking till sunrise.

My birthday last year in Paris was so lonely without him. This year feels even more unnatural, but this feeling is something I need to get used to.

Leaving my phone behind, I pull on my dressing gown and head downstairs. When I’m halfway down the stairs, my feet come to a stop and I’m laughing at the sight of Liam in the entry hall, dressed like a nobleman from centuries ago. He wears an olive-green velvet coat thatextends down to his knees, a waistcoat and cravat beneath, and breeches on the bottom.

“What on earth are you wearing?”

He grins at me. “An eighteenth-century costume. You have one too.”

“Why?”

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