Page 24 of My Favorite Girl

My eyes dart to him and I sit up straight, snapping back at him. “You think I stay under your roof because I’m reliant on you for financial and parental support? I stay because Ally and Amabella mean something to me. You’re not the incredible family man you think you are. It’s all an act ever since Amabella has come into the picture. If you really cared, you would have been present in my life before you met her. You’ve always had some fucked up issue with me because of?—”

Even in this moment, I can’t bring myself to mention my mother’s death. The guilt is heavy in my chest, knowing that my mere existence in this world has fucked up all the lives around me. The question ofwhat if she’d never diedalways weighs on me.

My brothers and I would have grown up in a loving household. My father would have been around a lot more instead of running off to deal with his grief. Maybe I would have had a proper relationship with my father. So would my brothers.

“You know what? Fuck this shit. I’ll happily move out.” I turn my back on the argument and head for my room. My father calls after me, demanding I sit back down, but I ignore every word.

As soon as I enter my room, my eyes catch on the neon deck of cards sitting on my bedside table. I lay on the bed and start shuffling, irritated and trying to calm myself. I turn on a neon lamp for its calming effects too, this one a dark purple.

Not even a minute later, the front door of the penthouse opens and I hear Amabella and Ally greet my father on their return from Ally’s piano lesson. He mentions my name to them with frustration but I can’t hear the specifics.

The next thing I know, Ally barges into my bedroom, hands on her hips and glaring at me. Despite the anger on her face, my mind turns to filth, the way it always does when I see her in her school uniform. The knee-high socks and short dress. The pink satin ribbon she always weaves through her blond hair. With the purple neon light emphasizing her silhouette, she looks like a wet dream.

“Youcan’tmove out,” she says. “We’ll never see each other.”

“I’ll take you with me.”

Her anger morphs into shock. The words slipped out of my mouth in haste, the idea of moving out with Ally unplanned but sounding more appealing with each passing second.

I’ll pay for her senior year at school if I need to. I make shitloads from my poker winnings, which my father can’t stand, to the extent that he cut me off from receiving the trust fund I was meant to inherit when I turned eighteen, like he was trying to punish me.

I’m glad I don’t have his money. I don’t want to be indebted to the man at all.

Before Ally can say anything, Amabella’s voice cuts through the walls, startling both of us. “Josh, you arenotkicking Dan out of our home.” Dad tries to reason with her, but barely gets a word out. “Dan has become my son too. I don’t even want to think about the impact this will have on Ally. You didn’t see what she was like before she met him. As a mother, it was terrible to witness. Their friendship is the best thing that has ever happened to her.”

Ally and I look at each other. She licks her lips, blushing over her mother’s words. Amabella is an angel for the way she treats me, which only deepens the guilt surrounding my feelings for her daughter. If she only knewhowclose Ally and I are, I’m sure she’d be all for kicking me out.

“I’m still in school,” Ally says quietly. A plea. “I’m not moving out of my home. Plus, ifwemoved out together, it would look… wrong. Please, don’t leave me.”

My chest warms at those last words.Please, don’t leave me. When she speaks like that… It’s so vulnerable and desperate and… I am so weak for this girl. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.

I’ve never experienced such intense feelings for a girl, as I do with Ally. There are delicate and sentimental moments between us, then raw truths like our conversation at the Boathouse that make me want to uncover how twisted her deepest desires are.

I haven’t pushed Ally for more since that night of the benefit a month ago. I could see on her face how turned on yet embarrassed she was. She’s caught up in what is “right” and “wrong” and I don’t want to make her do anything she isn’t ready for.

I sigh, knowing any plan to move out of home with Ally is far-fetched. She’s right—living together wouldn’t look great. Sofar, no one has questioned our friendship and “sibling bond.” But they would if it were just the two of us living together. If rumors spread to the paparazzi, they’d have a field day, which Ally wouldn’t handle well.

She’s been slandered in the media a couple of times since joining the Blackwood family. Ally can’t shrug off the negative attention as well as the rest of us can. I suppose it’s a sensitive area, considering the bullying she’s been victim to in the past.

“Fine, I won’t leave,” I mutter, mindlessly shuffling the deck of cards.

“Thank you.”

“But as soon as you graduate, I’m leaving this place.”

She frowns. “I guess all good things have to end.”

Though her words are cryptic, I know she’s referring to this set up we have here, the two of us constantly being around each other. Most nights, secretly sharing a bed.

All of that will disappear once we’re not living together.

I’m not ready to say goodbye to all these moments.

“Siblingsdomove out of the house together. It’s not that unheard of.” I don’t know who I’m trying to convince here. Yes, siblings can move out together, but often for short periods of time. Not years on end.

Ally doesn’t say anything in response, and I know it’s because she’s not eager to leave home. She enjoys living here with our parents and having a family. Ally likes the stability and love my father gives her. He takes an interest in her hobbies. When I’m not around for Ally to hang out with, she spends time with him and Amabella, doing cutesy little family things like playing charades or having popcorn movie nights.

Ally walks through our shared bathroom to her bedroom, leaving the doors open so we can talk as she unpacks her school bag. “You know I’m auditioning for Juilliard.”

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