Page 32 of My Favorite Girl

A discreet package.

My cheeks flush with embarrassment, imagining my mother accepting this package from the delivery man and placing it on my bed, not knowing what’s inside. I still can’t believe I ordered this thing online.

It was one night last week when I was tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep because I was so sexually frustrated, underwhelmed by the orgasm I’d given myself. I give myself orgasms daily, like Dan told me to all those months ago right before I auditioned for Juilliard. But my fingers have stopped being enough. I want to be fucked and to feel full. I caved in and ordered a dildo, blushing the entire time I placed the order.

No guy is going to satisfy my needs except the one guy I can’t have. I’m sure, if I applied myself, I could find a boyfriend, or atthe very least, someone to take my virginity. But neither of those options are appealing unless the guy is Dan. And sex with Dan isn’t an option, as much as I want it to be.

This toy will have to make do.

I unwrap the box, my tummy fluttering as I hold the dildo. Using this dildo feels sordid and way too adult for me and… my pussy clenches at the thought of the orgasm this thing could give me.

I look at the toy’s instructions, wondering if the device is as amazing as the reviews say. Apparently, it does everything. The device is multi-functional, with different speeds, rotation patterns, and has a remote control. It has a suction cup base for mounting different surfaces, is waterproof, and even has an ejaculation function.

Being the only one home right now, I take advantage of the privacy and drop my panties. Lying on the bed, I lift my dress over my hips. The anticipation already has me soaked, so I place the head of the toy to my opening and slowly push inside, not utilizing any of its functions yet.

The dildo is big. Too big for me and already stings with just the tip inside. I’ve always heard sex can be painful for girls during their first time. I’ve only ever had my fingers inside me, and they have nothing on the size of this dildo.

Determined to get the pain over with so I can enjoy the toy quicker, I push deeper, wincing at the unpleasant experience and needing to brace myself with slow breaths. When I can’t take anymore, I pull the dildo out and sit up in disappointment. There’s blood. On my legs. On the toy. I knew to expect this, I just didn’t realize sex would be this painful.

Feeling foolish, like I’m some silly little girl playing with toys I shouldn’t, I give up and bring the dildo to the shower with me to clean up. I turn the water on and stand beneath thedownpour, washing away the blood, telling myself I’ll try again another night. That hopefully next time it won’t hurt.

Right as I turn the water off, a buzzing sound startles me. I look at the toy on the soap rack, seeing the head rotate in small circles.

“You bought a toy.”

I gasp, wiping away a small patch of fog on the glass shower wall, finding Dan leaning against the doorframe of my bedroom with the dildo’s remote control in his hand. Thank God he’s the one who found the remote and not my parents. Though, I’m still hot with embarrassment.

“I thought you were out tonight,” I say.

A look of contemplation sits in his eyes. I’m burning up, dying to know what thoughts are running through his mind. “I wanted to come home and watch a movie with you.” Dan pauses, his brows drawn together as he studies the remote. “But now there’s something I want to do even more.”

Heat rushes between my thighs and a heavy pulse comes to life in my clit at the thought of what he could be implying.

“Fuck, Ally. Tell me to leave right now. Tell me you don’t want me anywhere near you, because finding you with this toy…fuck. There’s not a trace of decency in me tonight.”

My heart pounds so hard I can feel it. The dark look in his eyes, the rough tone of his voice, I’ve only truly seen this side of him once before, when he taught me how to touch myself. It’s a dangerous side, yet I think it might be my favorite. I should do as Dan says and tell him to leave. This interaction between us isn’t appropriate. He’s giving me a chance to stop this, being honest about his indecent intentions.

But I don’t want Dan’s composed side. I want the dominant side who tells me what to do with my body and praises me for it. The side of Dan I spend every day desperately wanting to see again.

“Ally…” Dan warns as the seconds pass and I remain silent. “Tell me to leave.”

“No.”

His eyes remain fixed on me for a long moment, fighting an internal war. Finally, he pushes off the doorframe and walks to me. Dan opens the shower door, his half-lidded gaze raking over my fully naked and wet body, drinking in the sight.

Cool air rushes into the shower, making my nipples tighten. My breath shudders and a thrill of excitement races through me. I know he’s seen me naked that one time before, perhaps another time if he watched me in the shower when I left the door open for him. But this is the second time we’ve been face to face like this, and I love the way he looks at me.

Dan’s focus shifts to the rotating dildo on the shelf behind me. He presses a button on the remote and the machine switches off. “Did you like using it?”

I press my lips together and shake my head. “It hurt.”

“You’re a virgin. Of course it did.”

“I think it was too big.”

“I bet. You’re tiny,” he mutters. That same look of contemplation returns to his eyes as they rake over my body. “I am seriously going to hell for this.”

“For what?”

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