Page 30 of My Favorite Girl

She nods, weaving her fingers with mine. It’s such a small gesture, yet so intimate that it sends warmth up my arm. “Thank you for being here,” she says.

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

Ally disappears into the audition room, closing the door behind her. I sit back in my chair, waiting patiently for her return. A few minutes of silence pass before I hear the familiar notes of Mozart’s Sonata in A major that Ally has spent months perfecting.

I close my eyes, listening to her beautiful music. This tune has become a favorite piece of mine, and I laugh to myself, thinking about how I didn’t know a thing about classical music before Ally came along, nor did I care to learn, and how this girl has infiltrated every aspect of my life.

The music comes to an abrupt end mid-song. My eyes flick open and my heart stops.

Fuck.

I cling to the hope that Ally’s music resumes, that there’s some positive explanation for the disruption. But as the seconds pass by in deafening silence, I know something has gone seriously wrong inside that audition room.

I’m on my feet in an instant, with my heart in my throat as I pace back and forth, contemplating how to respond. Does she need me in there? I won’t enter and disrupt the audition unless I’m requested, but the thought of Ally breaking down and me standing back is tough to stomach. There’s a large part of me praying I’m wrong about everything and I’m catastrophizing the situation.

The door opens behind me, and I spin around, finding the assistant escort Ally out of the audition room. I don’t hear a word the lady says. Nothing around me registers except the tears streaming down Ally’s face and the way my heart is breaking for her.

She’s hyperventilating. Her face is red. I take Ally off the assistant’s hands, asking her to give us privacy. The lady returns to the audition room as I sit Ally on a chair and kneel before her, telling her to focus on my eyes and take deep breaths while I count. It’s the same routine we always run through, except this time it takes longer to calm her.

Ten minutes pass before I have Ally breathing properly, though the tears don’t stop. “I’m sorry,” she sobs.

“Ally, you have nothing to apologize for.”

“I do. I thought I could get through the audition. I started feeling trapped and… I’ve let everyone down. Mom and Josh will be disappointed in me. It will be in the papers that I ran out of my audition with a panic attack. Worst of all, I’ve let you down.”

I wipe her tears away with my thumbs. “You haven’t disappointed anyone, especially not me.”

“I have. You worked so hard to help me with my anxiety.”

“Ally, I don’t care about anything except your happiness. The audition didn’t go well. Who gives a fuck. We’ll keep practicing and you’ll audition again. You’re incredible. I know you can do this.”

Another tear falls down her cheek. There’s so much sadness in her beautiful blue eyes. Yet she gazes at me in silence, with such tenderness that it makes my heart leap. “You’re the best person I’ve ever known,” she whispers. “You do so much for me. You’re my person. My everything. I wish I could do as much for you.”

“Ally, just being you is everything I need.” As I speak those words, I realize how true they are.

I don’t need Ally to do anything for me other than be herself because I’m in love with everything she is. I love the girl who comes from a rough past. The dedicated musician. The girl who is shy around new people but not me. The girl who cares too much about me to let my birthday slip by unnoticed. The innocent virgin who has the confidence to get naked in front of me and do filthy things.

I’ve been in love with her for years, ever since that day after my seventeenth birthday when I told her she’s my person. I just hadn’t realized what these feelings meant until this moment.

I want to tell her right now that I love her, but it’s not the right time. I don’t know if it ever will be. Just because I say the words doesn’t change our situation. We can’t be together in any socially acceptable manner. More so for Ally—she’s caught up in appearances and wanting to please everyone, and I respect that, but there’s no space for anusin that equation.

So, I hold onto the confession, bringing the back of Ally’s hand to my lips and placing a soft kiss on her skin. “Let’s get you home, Queen.”

Chapter 14

Dan

Six months later, Monday, September 15

The plan

Six months on from the night when I taught Ally how to give herself an orgasm and the memory is still constantly on my mind. I’ll never forget the little sounds she made or the way her brows pinched together like the pleasure was too much for her to handle. How her hips bucked and rose off the bed as she climaxed.

I think about that night again now as I lay on Ally’s bed, shuffling my neon cards while watching her play the piano. She’s in a world of her own and it’s beautiful seeing her like this. I’m mesmerized by everything this girl does. Even the simple things have me in a trance, like whenever she speaks my name. The way she hums her favorite songs. Even the way she fucking breathes.

“Beethoven would not be proud of me for how I just played his concerto,” Ally says once her fingers come to a stop.

“Sounded perfect to me, Queen.”

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